What is it with people thinking they ought to decree who should love who?! Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying the U.S. is the only country that can make things difficult. Locally, though, if I had a penny for all the people who ‘warned’ me that my Iranian husband was only marrying me to qualify for U.S. citizenship and that “you know those men become monsters once they marry a woman” — grrrrr!!! As a writer, at least I can repurpose horribleness as facets of my novels.
Just this morning, a neighbor recounted that merely twenty years ago, while she dated her husband, a restaurant in Burbank and another in Orange County told them to leave. Can you imagine?! Not that it should matter, she’s Mexican American and he’s Filipino American.
Don’t you just adore it when love counterattacks politics, greed, self-interests, bigotry, and the rest of the evils?
Today’s guest post is by blogger Ms. LILI, aka Mari, aka Lili en Florida – Florida, Japanese Mom of 4 (👧👧👦👶) × Cuban Dad, whose writing is as endearing as it is understated and cut-to-the-chase-vivid.. She’s a teacher, writer, motorcycle and car enthusiast, gamer, and musician who overcame discrimination against her dating her Cuban American now-husband…
Konnichiwa Hola Hello! by Mari
Hello! I am glad to share my blog with you. Who am I? I am a Japanese teacher and content writer. That’s Me, MARI (with my husband), at the top of this guest post.
A few weeks ago, the cherry blossom season started in Japan. Have you ever seen cherry blossoms? My friend YUKI sent me a cherry blossom photo last weekend…
I currently live in Florida, which is called the sunshine state. The weather is nice and warm all year around.
Over 16 years ago, I moved to this state. The reason was I wanted to improve my Spanish. Not for English? Hahaha, I have lived in a Spanish-speaking community for a long time. Before moving to Florida, I lived in Alicante, Spain. I was a traveler when I was young. I have visited over 25 countries. I think I am somewhat similar to da-AL. I like interacting with people from around the world…
My Journey to America
In 2005, I came to America as a tourist. I felt excited and different from my native country when I arrived at the airport. I don’t know how to describe my feelings well, but I felt more freedom than Japan.
I was born and raised in a conservative family. I am the first grandchild. I have no female cousins and no siblings. Since I was a kid, I have lived with high expectations from my mom. Moreover, I had to be a perfect person. I know now that no one can be a perfect person. But I didn’t know that when I was young.
I might be tired of living with pressure. I had always dreamed of living abroad. When I was a student at a Japanese university, I met my future husband as an exchange student. He is originally from Cuba. Wow, Is he really a Cuban? Yes, he is. He moved to America 10 years earlier than I moved.
I remember when I introduced him to my Japanese friends. They were very surprised at him, but they accepted us. One of my friends was YUKI. We have been friends since we were 7 or 8 years old. We went to the same elementary school, middle school and university. She is a school teacher in Japan.
My Japanese friends. Left is YUKI…
At that time, Japanese and Non-Japanese (Non-Asian) couples were quite few. Of course, my mom was very mad because I chose a non-Japanese guy. Well, anyway, dating someone was tough.
In 2008, I returned to America. For about 16 years of American life, I have challenged many things. I finished my education, found a job, got married to the same guy and have 4 children now. My life is pretty normal, but I am happy.
I like America and I hope to live as long as possible. At the same time, I am getting older. Sometimes I miss my hometown, Nagoya. I am mature now and have become a more peaceful person.
If You Plan to Visit Japan
I plan to visit Japan soon. Some readers may also plan to visit there this year or in the future. Before visiting, I want to share Japanese etiquette.
- Don’t talk loudly on public transport.
- Don’t blow your nose in public
- Don’t burp and fart in public
- Don’t make public displays of affection
- Don’t hug and kiss as a greeting
- Don’t show tattoos in public if you have
- Don’t jaywalk
- Don’t skip lineups
- Don’t eat while walking
- Don’t share food with chopsticks
- Don’t stick your chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice.
- Don’t smoke in a Non-Designated Area.
- Don’t open a taxi door manually
- Don’t stand on the wrong side of the escalator.
- Don’t be afraid of sleeping on the tatami mat and futon.
- Don’t be late. Always be on time.
- Don’t forget to carry cash
- Don’t forget to take off your shoes in the house
Were you surprised? Don’t worry. Japanese people are generally polite and respect other people. You will have a good time while traveling in Japan.
Also, I share useful Japanese phrases.
- Konnichiwa こんにちは → Hello/ Good afternoon
- Arigatou ありがとう → Thank you
- Sumimasen すみません → Excuse me and Thank you *Depend on the situation
- Gomennasai ごめんなさい → I am sorry
- Sayounara さようなら → Goodbye
Here’s a sound video of me pronouncing those same words for you…
If you have any questions and/or you want to know more about Japan, please let me know. I am always welcome to answer your questions.
How do you counterattack hatefulness?
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Thank’s dear.
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That is a very refreshing guest post, Daal, Mari seems to be such a positive person!
People say things like you and Khashayar experienced, because they don’t look at the person in question, but at the labels they have learned. That is why I am so much against lables. I had the same when I was engaged to a Nigerian guy a long, long time ago. Some people said to me that they could never be with a black guy. What they didn’t understand was that it was not at all about colour, it was about the person.
Even when I met my now husband in soon 31 years, a close friend of mine said that most men with children will go back to the mother of their children. She hadn’t even met him at that point, and she definitely didn’t know his ex wife. She made me insecure and I was very disappointed in her. Needless to say that we are not close friends anymore. And she was proven wrong, wasn’t she 😉 .
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I’m so glad things worked for you together. I forgot to mention in the post that people also said I should be wary because I am older than my honey. Is it jealousy? Genuine worry? Or merely diarrhea of the mouth? Regardless, some people are so obviously pathetic that it’s easy not to hold against them. Others can dangerously influence me so those are the ones I avoid. But I also find that because I can never foresee how someone will figure into my life later, it is good to not totally burn bridges if possible
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I broke with my friend after many many years when everything always took place on her conditions only, and when I had wishes they were blankly denied. I don’t need people like that. I hold many other bridges open though. I am usually a patient person with people, but sometimes enough is enough.
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That’s very wise. Also if someone breaks my trust especially more than once, it would take a lot to see the person in a positive light again
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Wonderful choice to feature Mari!
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Thank you Geoff. I’m quite taken by her generous and fun spirit 😃
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😊
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Good stuff, Mari (Lili) and da-AL. When you go back to visit Japan, do you think attitudes have changed at all? I read your cultural tips about visiting Japan. What is #8 referencing? (Don’t skip lineups).
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Thank you Pete 😊
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I am guessing, “Don’t cut lines.”
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Hello, Pete-san. #8 means get in line/ stand in a row (e.g. shops on a street). In the US, people don’t usually cut in line. But in some countries, people don’t care about others. I have been in the US for a long time. I think I am more Americanized now. Last time I was in Japan, I missed a bus. 😅
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I find things also depend on which city one is in. Rather than not caring however, I think some city cultures run on the motto of survival of the fittest 😂
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I read your blog. You are (were) a very experienced teacher. I am a mom of 4 and want to publish a textbook or children’s book (in Japanese) in the future. I will follow your blog.
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A textbook on that would be wonderful Mari! For adults too!
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