India and Argentina Mingle Update + A Good Book + Podcast/Audio

Graphic for today's headline, "India & Argentina Mingle + A Good Book!

India and Argentina Mingle Update, Plus a Good Book Happiness Between Tails

#Travel #India #Authors #Writing Do your family and friends read what you write? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions by recording them on my Anchor by Spotify page — or comment at HappinessBetweenTails.com — or email me. Like what you hear? Buy me a coffee. http://buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT Time Stamps (where segments begin): HBT introduction Intro to today’s topic Title of today’s show Today's show My question for you HBT outro — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/support

Check out the Happiness Between Tails Podcast at AnchorFM! There you’ll find links to subscribe, hear, and share episodes of Happiness Between Tails by da-AL via most any platform, from Spotify and Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is at LinkTree.

Hurrah! Today’s the first day in weeks that I’ve been spared the thud, thud, thud of a headache.

To celebrate, I’ve added a podcast version to this, a graphic, and amplified a little of what I originally posted.

For more of this journey, click here and here and here and here.

Wouldn’t it be great if coughing hard enough to get a side stitch at least flattened stomach muscles? In preparation for my annual bloodwork, I curbed my intake of meds, only to be informed after I fasted and woke early this morning for them, that I ought to have waited another ten days anyway.

Never mind being upset. The mirror no longer reflects sunken eyes, sallow skin, and bedhead. A good thing about illness is that health tastes, feels, and smells all the better!

Moreover, my audiobook doldrums that compelled me to tolerate one boring book after another for lack of anything better, has broken. Thank you Carol (and do check out her great blog), for your comment to my last post and turning me on to, “The Secrets Between Us,” a great novel that covers class, gender, sexuality, and more amid modern Mumbai.

Please, nobody tell me how it ends, because I’m only halfway through audiobook reader Sneha Mathan’s always stunning performance. The cover describes it as a sequel, but nothing is lost by not reading the prequel beforehand. At her blog, a background study on her latest book called, “Honor,” offers a discussion of the broken-hearted sort of love anyone can have for their homeland.

Now for the original, albeit updated, post…

Goodness, I hope my incredible ennui isn’t infectious. I’m still getting over a bad cold. While I’m technically well and I’ve been able to make significant inroads on the eventual podcast of my novel-in-progress, Flamenco & the Sitting Cat, my brain hurts, probably due to an ongoing hacking cough that just now caused a stranger to jump.

And maybe it also has to do with an earlier yet still recent bittersweet trip to my mothers homeland of Argentina?

And maybe it has to do with all the vaccines my husband and I had to take before our recent visit to India?

Okay, okay — I’ll address each of those one-by-one: 1. Enough said about the cold. 2. I haven’t processed the Argentina trip thoroughly enough to blog coherently about it.

And 3…

Getting ready for the India journey involved preliminary steps.

Wait — before I go on, hand on heart, I’ve never ever met so many many genuinely kind people as in India, strangers included… Also, if it (and the Argentina visit) hadn’t involved as much expense and quite a few hours of flying, perhaps this post would be different…

First off, visas are required of visitors from the United States. It’s a confusing, worrisome process due to having no one around to explain it in more detail than can be found on 99.9% of websites. As far as I can tell, if you don’t apply online, you have to go in for a face-to-face interview, and who wants to expend time and energy on that? Online, for several days I tried every which-way, always thwarted when it came to clicking the dates we’d stay. It took phoning each of the six U.S. Indian embassies, mostly leaving un-replied-to voicemails — to get the gist that one can’t apply online sooner than 30 days before departure.

Who travels like that? My style is to know I’ll be allowed into a country before I purchase tickets that I’ve bought months earlier to secure good rates and time off work for. Fortunately, my husband purchased our airfares directly through an airline that happened to allow cancellations up to 24-hours in advance.

Given how no vaccines are required by law, it seemed like overkill when my honey requested I email our doctor about medical precautions. I thought I was being quite responsible when I emailed four weeks in advance. Doctor pointed me in the direction of Kaiser Insurance’s international travel desk. That number instructed me to leave my phone number and then to wait a couple of weeks for them to reply. And it wasn’t the mechanized type that allows one to play back one’s message to ensure that the phone company didn’t garble it. The clock ticked loudly as I worried that my phone might confuse a callback for a robocall. Fortunately, the travel desk nurse connected with us several days later.

Now here you have to close your ears if you’re from India — and please know that in no way do I mean to insult any country: the nurse sternly warned that India’s water, food, and environment is among the world’s toughest on the likes of soft North American constitutions.

The international travel advice nurse ordered for us:

  • Vaccines for hepatitis A and B. One involved a booster as soon as we returned home and both require boosters in six months.
  • Anti-typhoid pills we began taking daily before the trip and ended a week afterwards.
  • Antibiotics to have on hand “just in case.”

She also highly recommended:

  • Not drinking, brushing our teeth, or opening our mouths in the shower unless boiled or bottled water was involved.
  • Not eating anything raw.
  • No eating street food.
  • Liberally dousing ourselves and our clothing with high-DEET bug spray.
  • And a bunch of lesser stuff that added up to feeling like perhaps we might as well pack hazmat suits.
  • Oh, and taking two Pepto Bismo tablets four times a day to help avoid “traveler’s tummy” even though it could give us harmless ugly black tongues and poop, which is confirmed by the manufacturer’s video about it. Side note: is it totally accidental that their actress wears a lucky horseshoe on her necklace? Anyhoo, don’t quote me and I’m no physician, but somewhere I read you don’t want to do this for longer than a couple of weeks.

Ordinarily, I’m the sort to slough off this type of talk as over-reacting. However, in Argentina we’d gotten really and truly  ill from eating in a tourist-stop restaurant. At the risk of too much information, never before had I experienced such a horrible thing. Thank the goddesses we’d rented an apartment with a clothes washer and dryer. An unrelated anecdote is that this was in a small town whose scenic vistas were obscured by the smoke of record-breaking brush fires. Wouldn’t you know it, locals went about their business like nothing. Here in fire-prone Los Angeles County, we barricade ourselves for far less (which I’m all for).

In addition, just before our journey to India, at our annual eye exams, the doctor mentioned that his sister was still weeks into a hospital stay from some severe mystery awfulness she’d contracted while visiting family in India…

How many of your real life family and friends read what you write?

Kolkata’s Noisy Hope + HerStory by Pat Wahler + HBT on Spotify

Author/blogger Pat Wahler.

Kolkata’s Noisy Hope + HerStory by Pat Wahler Happiness Between Tails

#Authors #Travel #Writing #Novels #Books What cities inspire your reading and writing? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions by recording them on my Anchor by Spotify page — or comment at HappinessBetweenTails.com — or email me. Like what you hear? Buy me a coffee. http://buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/support

Check out the Happiness Between Tails Podcast at AnchorFM! There you’ll find links to subscribe, hear, and share episodes of Happiness Between Tails by da-AL via most any platform, from Spotify and Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is at LinkTree.

“Kolkata (Calcutta) … this is a city you ‘feel’ more than simply visit.” lonely planet India, 19th edition.

With jello for equilibriums, my husband and I landed there a few weeks ago (most if not all international flights arrive at a cruel 3am) after 23 sleepless hours thanks to the ceaseless shrieks of one small boy.

Kolkata slumbered. Despite few cars on the night road — why all the honking?

Lonely and disquieted is how I imagine any Kolkatan must feel if they visit my neck of the woods. In Los Angeles, honks can elicit bullets. Kolkata drivers beep-beep-beep minimum once a minute. Be the vehicle a taxi, motorcycle, electric rickshaw, or bicycle, honks there are “honk-tra honk-la honk-las” of “hello,” “I’m here,” “coming through,” “watch out,” and probably, “I love making sound.”

Whatever the intention, the cacophony is constant. Don’t get me started on what the actual driving is like. Suffice to say, I was informed that their driving tests are conducted in parking lots, not amid actual traffic.

From my 6th floor hotel double-paned window, the din rang loud and clear. We were in a Kolkata suburb called New Town that’s thriving with local investor money in housing and air-conditioned malls…

A huge qualm I had before visiting was that Indian poverty would gut me. Sadly, Kolkata poverty is alive and well, part of and inexcusable tragedy that needs to be remedied worldwide. What I hadn’t anticipated was that I’d return to California thinking what’s going on in the U.S. might be more brutish.

In Kolkata (and I wrote and podcasted a little about the city before), they’ve got actual communities. In my part of the world, the tanking healthcare system and economy force more and more people into tent villages. Ones that, amid dueling compassion and loathing for our unfortunate, are continually raided and uprooted without warning by our police.

Anyway, we both came home with terrible colds. What an odd post-pandemic phenom it is to say, “At least it wasn’t Covid (and whatever happened to the ’19’ part?).” Still, our nightly hacking coughs make healing sleep more than a little elusive.

Ok — my head’s a bit floaty — thank goodness for pharmaceuticals — so the rest of my trip will have to wait.

For more of this journey, click here and here and here and here.

Oh, and did I mention we were there for a wedding?…

In the meantime, here’s a more coherent post about how blogger/author Pat Wahler journeys through her books. She writes from Missouri and has garnered many awards for her many novels.

Cover of Pat Wahler's HerStory historical novel, "The Rose of Washington Square."

Writing Herstory by Pat Wahler

If you enjoy reading biographical historical fiction as much as I do, you may recognize some of my favorites of the genre. The Paris Wife, by Paula McLain gives us the story of Ernest Hemingway’s first wife, Hadley. The Aviator’s Wife by Melanie Benjamin tells the story of Anne Lindbergh. The First Actress by C.W. Gortner is the journey of Sarah Bernhardt. I enjoy learning about women from history, or herstory, as I like to call it. True, a reader could find a nonfiction biography and get the facts. But what I love about historical fiction is the way it puts a reader right in the story to experience what the protagonist does in an immersive and entertaining way. 

Based on my love of this genre, it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that biographical historical fiction isn’t only my favorite story to read. It’s also my favorite story to write. However, choosing a subject can be a difficult proposition. In my 2018 debut novel, I am Mrs. Jesse James, I was fortunate to find a character who people knew next to nothing about. Writing Zee James also gave me a built-in audience. To this day, people are mesmerized by any topic related to the James family. As a bonus, the family had major ties to Missouri, my home state, which made research much more convenient. So when the time came to work on my second historical novel, I decided to search for a subject within the same type of parameters, hoping to find another woman from Missouri whose experiences were unknown, forgotten, or erased. But I needed a subject who left behind a skeleton of facts rather than a detailed account of every moment of her life, giving me room to flesh out her story in the narrative.

With this in mind, I compiled a list of half a dozen possibilities. Then I did a general search on each woman and considered whether available information on the candidates lent themselves to building a story arc. Several of them did, but one name jumped right to the top of the list—Rose Cecil O’Neill. I didn’t know much about her, although I’d certainly heard of her most famous creation, the Kewpie doll. As I did a deeper dive into her story, I found there was much more to her accomplishments than the iconic Kewpies. During her lifetime, Rose produced a prodigious body of literary and artistic work, something I knew I’d never be able to incorporate into a novel. Besides, other people had spent a fair amount of effort in analyzing her artistic creations, particularly the Kewpies, who at one time consumed the world’s imagination. However, the areas that interested me most about Rose were her personal relationships. How did they guide her journey from nineteen-year-old girl to a determined woman of world fame? This was an approach no one else had used, and it seemed the perfect springboard from which to craft a story. 

After finding my focus, it was back to learning everything I could about Rose O’Neill. I spent more than a year in initial research dipping into family correspondence, books, articles, and newspaper accounts.

Photo of Rose’s beloved home in Walnut Shade.
Pat Wahler spent a day at Rose’s beloved home in Walnut Shade, Missouri asking countless questions.

And then, after I had absorbed every bit of information I could find, I let Rose take over the job of guiding me forward. Odd as it sounds, after immersing myself in the life of a figure from history, it’s as if I take on a new persona, and channel the subject I’ve studied. That’s when I know I’m ready to write the story. (Lest you wonder about my sanity, I’ve heard other authors make similar claims.)

In truth, I consider writing herstory—tales from the lives of women who came before me—to be an honor and a privilege. Yes, historical fiction, especially biographical historical fiction, is definitely a challenge to research and write. It takes a great deal of time and patience (not to mention a good pair of glasses) while poring over old documents. But it’s true we learn from the past; and what could be more gratifying than introducing to the world the untold story of a deserving woman. 

Better yet is discovering her story is one that resonates with readers.

What cities inspire your reading and writing?

Sweet Potato Frittata Recipe with Audio Podcast Version

Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

Cooking is how my husband, Khashayar, unwinds — and since his work has been ultra busy lately — in his spare time, he’s cooked up a storm. It’s as great for my tummy as it is for allowing me time to write my novels (more about them).

Lucky me, he’s as interested in coming up with plates as healthy and tasty as they are appealing. It’s always best to read an entire recipe to the end before setting out to shop for ingredients and cook. Here’s his latest recipe.…

Photo of Khashayar's Sweet Potato Veggie Frittata.

Sweet Potato Veg Frittata by Khashayar Parsi

Step 1

Combine…

  • Sweet potato, 1 large, shredded
  • Parsnip, 1 medium, shredded
  • Onion, 1 medium, diced small
  • Mushroom, 1/2 pound, diced small
  • Eggs, large, 4

Seasonings to Taste…

  • Salt
  • Black pepper
  • Red pepper
  • Turmeric

Step 2

Mix in…

  • Cheddar cheese, extra sharp, 3 ounces, shredded
  • Tahini 1/2 cup

Step 3a + Step 3b

Add…

  • Olive oil, 2 tablespoons

…to a non-stick 12-13” sauté pan. Cook on medium heat for about 45 minutes, until browned. Flip half-cooked frittata onto a plate.

While the frittata is cooking, roast…

  • Zucchinis, 6 medium, sliced into thin medallions
  • Rubbed with olive oil and seasoned to taste

…on parchment paper in a 350 degree oven, until the zucchinis are browned, which will take roughly half an hour.

Step 4

Add the remaining…

  • Olive oil, 2 tablespoons

…to the pan, and sauté the other side of the frittata for 30 minutes, until browned.

Step 5

  • Greek yogurt and shallots…

Transfer the cooked frittata to a platter. Decorate with spirals of zucchini, dollops of Greek yogurt mixed with shallots, and sprinkles of dill.

Serves 4 to 6 people. Pairs great with a salad like this one of beets and greens…

Photo of Khashayar's Sweet Potato Veggie Frittata with beet and greens salad.

Hungry for more of Khashayar’s healthy veggie recipes? H-E-R-E and H-E-R-E and H-E-R-E and H-E-R-E and H-E-R-E are some, and for even more, type KHASHAYAR into the search bar on this site.

What’s your favorite vegetable?

Nude Talk + Book n Vid Inspo + Abortion + Aithal on Writing

podcasting audiobook audio booth
Recording an audio book at home rocks! And it’s hot…
Happiness Between Tails has a podcast/audio version! Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

Releasing my novel is taking longer than I’d like (understatement). At this stage, I’m recording an audiobook version of the first section, which is truly fun!

The audio booth I fashioned within our petite guest-bedroom walk-in closet is soundproofed with a mishmash of bedding held together with clothespins. Photos of me using it must wait for cooler temps. Without air conditioning, I recorded in my birthday suit, standing on a towel to sop up dripping sweat.

Once voicing and editing of the first chapter are done, the audio will become a promotion tool. The book version (yay! yay! yay! is finished!) needs a cover image and formatting. I’ll try again for a great traditional agent before I self-publish.

All this makes me stress that I’ll never finish — which is why I take great pleasure in discovering people who accomplished great things later in life, whether they’re real life or fiction.

Art goddess Beatrice Wood learned pottery throwing after age 40, then she really hit her stride many years later. A friend of hers was so touched by her that she photographed her for a book of her wisdom as she turned 100 in 1993! By the way, Wood penned her autobiography at 95. My review of the book below for Amazon and Goodreads: “Spectacular & Inspiring — absolutely wonderful in every way!”…

Cover of book: Playing Chess With Heart: Beatrice Wood at 100 Hardcover – February 1, 1994 by Beatrice Wood  (Author), Marlene Wallace (Photographer)

Here’s just one of many wonderful and timely quotes from within its pages, this one about abortion…

“Let us face it, it is not a question of whether the law is right or wrong where abortion is concerned. Any woman desperate enough will go to an abortionist regardless of whether there is a law against it. To speak of saving a fetus is to ignore the dangers facing a woman having an illegal abortion — which could mean the loss of two lives.” from the book, “Beatrice Wood at 100.”

Regarding wisdom gained through experience, I urge you to check out and share blogger Equinoxio21’s (who’s guested here before) post at his site, where he discusses abortion

Continuing on the subject of treating each other decently, I recently much enjoyed Ibram X. Kendi’s “How to Raise an Antiracist.” My review of it for Amazon and Goodreads: “Complete candor about a subject that’s scary to talk about. Kendi writes with needed honesty about how difficult raising an antiracist child is, but how essential it is.” …

 

Ibram X. Kendi’s “How to Raise an Antiracist."

Dreams are ageless! Art Carney well earned the Oscars he won starring alongside an orange stripey cat in the uber-inspiring and entertaining “Harry and Tonto.”

Today’s guest blog post is by Aithal, who’s guested here before. He’s published six books, the first book set in India. His latest is a USA-to-India thriller. Here’s his advice for novelists…

So You Think You Can Write by Aithal

So you want to be an author, huh? Join the queue. Millions of dreamers want to be one, and they are very talented writers with a repertoire of fancy and obscure words that are seldom used. Their grammar is perfect, and their statement construction is flawless. So it should be a no-brainer for them to write great books everyone wants to read. Right? Wrong.

Many elements make up a good book. The most critical aspect (at least in my opinion) is that the story should come from the heart. When I started to write my first book in January of 2010, it took me less than a week to pour my initial thoughts down. However, to expand on the idea, to read over and over again for typos, tighten the storyline, etc. — took me about fifteen months. Was it worth it? Absolutely. It was a journey down memory lane that I thoroughly enjoyed. If you decide to write a book, don’t hurry. I know you must think, “it’s easy for you to say.” But believe me, it’s worth it. I, too, was very impatient in the beginning as I was very eager to have my “masterpiece” out.

My thinking was straightforward. To make people read my book and let them decide if it was worth their time. Unlike seeing a movie (where one spends only 2–3 hours of their time), reading a book is at least a week of their time. So it better be worth it. Spend time upfront, and you’ll reap the rewards. Enjoy the journey. Don’t be in a hurry to reach your destination.

Kirkus Reviews aren’t free, but are highly effective. I recently got my last book reviewed on Kirkus Reviews. They are well-respected in the publishing industry. Your book will get more eyeballs where they matter…like bookstores, publishers, agents, librarians, etc.

What bolsters your confidence when your goals seem beyond reach?… 

Animals in Fiction by Peni Jo Renner: Pt 2 with Audio/Podcast

Title of blog post over photo of author Peni Jo Renner.
Historical novelist Peni Jo Renner.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

If you’re planning to be a soon-to-be self-published novelist like I am, what’s your game plan? Mine is first to gather a following of folks who enjoy my general sensibility and style. Everyone can get an idea of both through Happiness Between Tails and the other social media I use. That way (fingers crossed) there will be some people interested in reading my books when they finally debut.

How do you find out about novels, purchase them, and in what format?

Peni Jo Renner, who blogs from in Maryland, is a three-time self-published historical novelist — plus she’s a blogger. She’s featured me on it plus she’s looking for people to review books there).

Her three books are available by clicking on their titles. The 3-part series begins with multi-award-winning Puritan Witch; The Redemption of Rebecca Eames, followed by Letters to Kezia and Raid on Cochecho. All are available for purchase online.

Here she discusses the value of animals in fiction…

The Importance of Furry and/or Feathered Characters by Peni Jo Renner (Part 1 with her here)

I spent my childhood pounding out corny stories on a plastic manual typewriter that printed only in caps. Admittedly, my plots were shallow set in idyllic valleys where the protagonist’s biggest challenge was locating a runaway Palomino mare named Nugget.

Accompanied by a bloodhound named Trapper.

And a pet raven named Edgar (and no, I’d never even heard of Edgar Allen Poe yet!).

Fast-forward about 40 years, and after putting aside fiction writing for nearly a quarter of a century, the writing bug bit me again and I realized my dream of writing (and getting published!) when I wrote Puritan Witch; The Redemption of Rebecca Eames. This multi-award-winning novel was quickly followed by its sequel, Letters to Kezia.  A third novel, Raid on Cochecho, completed the trilogy and I had accomplished my task of writing historical fiction.

My novels are peopled by my own Colonial ancestors, and it was really fun researching life in the 17th century. During my research, I was reminded that although styles may change and technology may advance, humans retain their proclivities throughout the centuries. 

As do non-humans.

Some of the most fun characters to bring to life are the four-legged ones. Riff, the big, loyal dog in Puritan Witch, continues his role as a devoted companion in Letters to Kezia. In the opening scene of Raid on Cochecho, the purity and innocence of childhood are embodied in a playful white kitten simply called Kitty. 

A human-only cast of characters, with their human foibles such as hate, greed, and selfishness, in this author’s opinion, needs a little respite with the sprinkling of a few animal companions here and there. After all, they can be the most fun to write!

How do you find out about novels, purchase them, and in what format?

Self-Publishing by Peni Jo Renner Pt 1 + Podcast Version

Title of blog post over photo of historical novelist Peni Jo Renner.
Historical novelist Peni Jo Renner.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

Many who visit here are soon-to-be self-published novelists (I’m writing novels too). Fortunately for us, Peni Jo Renner (who blogs from Maryland and has generously featured me on it plus she’s looking for people to review books there) has three self-published historical novels worth of experience to share with us…

Interview: Self-Publishing with Historical Novelist Peni Jo Renner Part 1 (Part 2 here)

da-AL: What advice can you give to writers who want to self-publish? And who’d like to get their books into public libraries?

Peni Jo Renner: Advice? Well, in 2012, I hadn’t written in like 25 years, and I felt I needed a refresher, so I took a class at our local community college. A fellow student told me that she had published HER book with iUniverse, so I went with them. But due to the measly 20% royalties iUniverse offered, I looked into other self-publishing companies and settled on Lulu with its 80% royalty rate. LuLu took care of all the copyrights and stuff. Self-publishing with companies like this can be expensive, so if money is an issue,  Amazon’s Createspace is free. 

I’m not big on self-promotion. I didn’t write my trilogy to make money, more to fulfill a lifelong dream. However,  I do ask new Facebook friends to “Like” my author page, and I participate in #SharingIsCaring on Facebook. #SharingIsCaring is this campaign on Facebook (and I suppose Twitter and Instagram) that authors list their FB author pages on other authors’ pages. Everyone Likes everyone else’s pages. Usually, the campaigns begin on Sundays.

In the past, I have participated in local book-signing events, but they are few and far between. However, I like to keep a supply of “The Puritan Chronicles” bookmarks, and I’ll ask people, “Do you enjoy reading historical fiction?” If they reply in the affirmative, I give them a bookmark. 

As to libraries; I know my trilogy is at my local library, but that may be due to the fact I used to work there! However, a cousin in Texas did show me a photo of my book, “Puritan Witch,” that she found at HER library!

My books are POD (Print on Demand), so the best way to purchase them is online. I wrote Puritan Witch; The Redemption of Rebecca Eames. This multi-award-winning novel was quickly followed by its sequel, Letters to Kezia.  A third novel, Raid on Cochecho, completed the trilogy and I had accomplished my task of writing historical fiction.

Here’s the bookmark that historical novelist Peni Jo Renner hands out.

Dear Happiness Between Tails friends: Check back soon for when Peni Jo lends us a peek into her writing process!

My fave historical novel is Isabel Allende’s House of Spirits — what’s yours?…

Abortion: P. Lazos + Privilege + Podcast: Blog Tips + Loan Words

Blog post title over photo of a woman holding a sign that reads, "Mandatory Vasectomies: Life Begins at Ejaculation."
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

While fooling around — erhem, doing research — for my novels, I wandered across findings that conclude many well-off white guys want equality and equity for all. The problem is, since they don’t see it regarding them, their time is all full up with making and enjoying their inherent privileges.

“Humans are rational; we rationalize whatever we want,” or something to that effect, is how noted historian Howard Zinn summed it up.

What sound sleep such people must enjoy! No sweating over transgressions. No tossing over un-involvement with non-blood relatives, people different from them, or who don’t live right next door and aren’t knocking.

To further rile me the other day, when the subject of abortion came up within a group, someone asked whether others cared. To them, it was understandable that anyone who’s had all their kids, better still if they bore only sons and they were post-menopausal, not concern themselves.

Make no mistake, I don’t pretend to be a heroine who devotes every waking moment to bettering the world — but how do people justify take, take, taking, and never lifting a finger?

A breath of fresh air, blogger/novelist/environmental lawyer Pam Lazos is not a “don’t even try” sort. Visit her blog for info on her eco thriller, novellas, beekeeping, and daily laughter practice. Here she describes how, for her, abortion rights are personal…

Evolve or Revolve by Pam Lazos

Let me start by saying this is not my fight in the sense that I, personally, have something at stake.  I am past child-bearing years so the overturning of Roe v. Wade and all the restrictions on a woman’s reproductive system that come with it will not effect me, but if you are like me, let’s not make the mistake of thinking this mess is not going to impact our lives because failure to fight such moral turpitude is complacent, and complacency is how the world goes dark.  If history has taught us anything, complacent people get kicked to the curb because they don’t think the world is coming for them until it’s too late.  Just ask any one of the 6.6 million people living in refugee camps.  

Barring divine intervention — like Zechariah getting the nod from Archangel Gabriel about his elderly wife, Elizabeth, and her pregnancy with John the Baptist — that ship has sailed for me, but not for my daughters, and for them, and every other woman I love, I can never stop fighting until, and this is the tricky part, we EVOLVE into the amazing race of humans we were destined to be, not this crazy, tribal, hunkered-down caricature version of ourselves we have become.  

Imagine living in Texas right now, having a miscarriage, and being too afraid to tell anyone because you think they might arrest you and send you to jail, leaving the kids you have at home to grow up motherless.  Under the Texas abortion ban laws, you experience one of the most crushing moments of your life and rather than being able to look to your friends and community for support in dealing with such an unmooring personal tragedy, you are forced to hide your pain or risk the tragedy becoming public and you being incarcerated.  Don’t think this is just conjecture.  As Brian Stevenson chronicled in Just Mercy, Marsha Colbey spent five years in prison after the state of Alabama determined she was liable for her stillborn child’s death.  With that in mind, the overturning of Roe v. Wade feels like a witch trial where the rules are rigged from the start (ever watch Monty Python’s idea of the “scientific method”?).   

I had two miscarriages as a married woman after trying for years to have a baby.  If I had those miscarriages today, living in Texas, I may have ended up in jail.  So I ask all the whack-a-mole legislators in all the states that wrote such disgusting, anti-woman, anti-family, anti-society laws, why do you hate women, and why is your most fervent desire to see us fail?  Why do you want to see us busted, broke, and broken, without choice, but for those you make for us; pathless, but for those you set our feet upon; and penniless, but for those few coins you’ll throw our way for household items (and then complain because too much money is being spent on household items).  Are we destined to go back to the early 20th century, or will this time around be more insidiously like The Handmaid’s Tale?  Another thing:  once you’re done legislating what we can and can’t do with our bodies, do you think any one of us will want to have anything to do with any one of you?

Photo of Pam Lazos, blogger/author/activist/environmental lawyer.
Photo of Pam Lazos, blogger/author/activist/environmental lawyer.

Why is it only the men who get to exercise their free will?  How about all you chivalrous dudes who seem to think women need champions (we do, but not in the way you think); protectors (we do, but not in the way you think); and role models (we do, but boy, are there too few of those around); how about you take the hit on this?  If life starts at conception and you are so hell-bent on saving every last zygote — it takes until approximately the 11th week of pregnancy to become a fetus — let’s solve the problem by assuring those little eggs do not get fertilized until everyone is in agreement about having a live baby.  You can get a fully reversible vasectomy while we’ll enjoy a brief respite from our birth control dilemma that is never 100% effective — another bonus provided by vasectomies!

You squeamish?  Try walking a hot minute in our shoes.  Do you think anyone who has actually had to get an abortion wants it?  No. Nadie.  I’d wager in 99% of cases, a woman would have preferred avoiding it altogether (using 99% to account for statistical anomalies).  Further, it’s inconceivable to me that there is not one, but two potential sexual predators sitting on the Supreme Court right now, and until Biden was elected president, we had one in the White House, too. Imagine our joy!  And while the MINORITY of ultra conservatives are all high-fiving each other over Alito’s successful, strident, downright diabolical ruling, God is shedding ginormous tears at how satanic you all look to him right now.  The Supreme Court has decided to shove conservatism and Christianity down America’s throat while not one thing they’ve done in the last month looks like anything Jesus would do.  Paid parental leave?  Nah.  Post-natal and educational services for the child?  Fogetaboutit.  Worker training for the mother.  What are you nuts? 

The most vexing thing to me:  why, when we are on the precipice of a sixth mass extinction, are we bringing more babies into the world?  You would think tapping the brakes on overpopulation is a good thing, possibly buying us a few more decades until we sort this climate change mess out — something we’ve only recently decided to take seriously.  While you were busy thinking about how to unravel 50 years of stare decisis, Supreme Court, Mother Nature has been busy plotting her revenge and no amount of judicial reasoning or false piety will save you when the real apocalypse arrives so if you were thinking you could hide behind the robes, think again.

I don’t want to be the last generation on a dying planet, I want to be the first generation on an enlightened one.  How I long for this fight to be over, yet, I think it’s barely started.  So many of my perceived longings are because I think, “when I have xx, I will be happy,” when the truth is, I don’t even know if I want xx anymore, or if I even ever wanted it, I just want to be happy.  Most others want the same, but no one can be happy if everyone else is telling them what to do with their bodies — NO ONE — not even the ones doing the telling.  In order to be happy, we must go directly to the source of light.  Reflections of someone else’s light don’t count, and legislation which curtails a woman’s light, by curtailing her right, is the worst kind of reflection because it reflects someone else views onto us, leaving our own somewhere around our feet, or shoved into a closet with the stuff we don’t want anymore but don’t have the heart to throw away.

It’s the 4th of July, a holiday to celebrate independence, but in America today, independence is now only afforded to the the pale, male, stale variety who mostly write the laws.  To be fair, I know plenty of men who are not of this variety, and to them I say, THANK YOU.  We women need you in this fight and it is the one small ray of light that has sprung from all this chaos:  women and their men are coming together in droves to SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER, something that doesn’t happen too often in America these days.

There are a few things too important to leave to the states:  the environment, civil rights, education, and a woman’s reproductive rights, to name a few, and we all — at least the ones of us who are still thinking clearly — need to get in there and make sure we keep those rights.

Today I feel worse about our country than I have ever felt in my adult life. I don’t know how we get back to center where most of us thrive other than for women of all walks and stripes to get out there and not just vote, but run, RUN, for local, state and federal legislative and executive positions, heck, you can run for dog catcher if it’s going to make all our lives better.  We need our voices to be heard and the time has passed to let the men do it for us.  It’s not going to be easy, and it will take heart and strength and courage, but we can do it — together.

Remember:  no man has ever experienced the pain of childbirth so they have no idea what we are capable of withstanding.  And for all those men who think women should be relegated to the back of the bus, just wait until we find our voices — the concussive effect will be staggering.  If we stand together, we can not only find our way back to the reflection of our own pure light, we can be unstoppable.

Time to show them, Ladies.

Trick question: Do abortion rights involve you?

Oldest Blogger + Aithal’s Survival + Podcast: Vet Trip by B Christopher

This post's title over Image of Morrie Markoff, then 99, and his wife, Betty, then 97, at their home in 2013. Photo by Gary Friedman for the Los Angeles Times.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

“When you reach the age of 100, suddenly, even if you did nothing notable, you are a celebrity. Friends, even longtime ones, neighbors and strangers look at you differently. You see and feel it. When perfect strangers find out, they shake your hand, as if, by osmosis, you can transfer the secrets of long life to them.” From Keep Breathing: Recollections from a 103-year-old, by Morrie Markoff (born January 1914), published five years ago.

Fine art galleries sell Morrie’s metal sculptures, an art form he took up in his 90s. Then there’s the aforementioned book at 103. Today 108, he’s still blogging strong!

His secret? According to one of his many Los Angeles Times interviews, the key is to stay curious! 

Aithal has self-published six novels! He and Morrie embody “never give up.” That’s the kind of motivation I want to soak up as I plot my next steps for the novel I just finished writing.

Originally from India and now residing in Orange County, California, Aithal generously shared his publishing know-how last week, about another of his books here. His book titles and links are India Was OneBeyond The Milky WayReturn to EarthDivided States of America2120The Man From Afghanistan.

“Survival of the Fittest,” by Aithal  

Man to Shopkeeper: Please give me ten guns, 100 bullets + 1 antibiotic azithromycin tablet.

Shopkeeper: Sorry, Sir, we can’t sell you the antibiotic without a prescription…

This may be a joke, but it’s a fact of life in America.

America is no longer a land of opportunity — at least not for all. It seems to have turned into a lawless country held hostage by few. Over time it has desensitized its citizens in many walks of life, the latest being the mass shooting in Texas. It has become a standard playbook for the Right. Send thoughts and prayers, show outrage, blame mental illness, and then wait it out. They know it has worked in the past: Sandy Hook, Parkland, Columbine, and so many more. We have collectively lost our way, and not just our minds. We have become the laughingstock of the world. We no longer are respected…but feared.

How many of us know on February 19 of this year, there was a mass shooting in Portland, Oregon, at Normandale Park that left one dead and five injured. We tend to absorb the news with mild curiosity, thinking, “oh, just one dead. Not a very big deal.” Actually, it is. However, little do we realize that the Right has succeeded in desensitizing us so much that our brains take one death for granted. It shouldn’t be. We must retrain our brains to think that even one human loss is unacceptable. We must not fall for the Right’s trope of ‘mental illness’ excuse. It is offensive to all those who have an actual mental illness. They never think of taking a gun and committing mass murder. So, in conclusion, them saying an individual was mentally deranged is nothing but an excuse. Making a lethal weapon easily accessible to them is not a Second Amendment Right.

Years from now, when the current politicians are dead and gone, the future generation will have to endure their political stances. Slowly but steadily, America will experience a brain drain. The unending supply of the immigrants, who have been infusing vibrant new blood into this country’s soul, will taper down to a trickle. The American dream will turn into an American nightmare.

Think about the rules and regulations for a car. When you want to buy a vehicle, you must have a title and tags. A driver training before you can operate one on the road, a written and a practical test before getting a license, health requirements, and insurance. You can obtain this at DMV, a government body, and not just a car fair. Why can’t it be the same for guns? 90% of Americans want change in the current gun laws. 10% and fifty Republican senators are defying the will of three-hundred million Americans.

And we are proud to call America a leader in democracy.

How old do you plan to be when you quit writing, blogging, or dreaming?…

Self-Publishing Tips by Aithal + Podcast: My Abortion Story

Blog post title and covers of some of the novels by Aithal.
Some of the novels by Aithal.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

The right to safe legal abortions and to wield guns — given how the first is crumbling and the second is more out of control than ever — a fellow Meetup writer mused, “Guns will be used freely to hunt down anyone remotely associated with abortion. Just like in The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel and TV series).”

My heart is heavy with all that’s happening. Today’s post is brief, though it took a long time to write. Meantime, I’ve been researching whether it’s a good idea to add a podcast version of my novel, Flamenco & the Sitting Cat, to PRX’s roster (they act as intermediaries for producers and public radio stations). This week’s podcast is My Abortion Story, which you can also read as a blog post.

Tangled Locks Journal (thanks, blogger par excellence KE Garland, for the heads up) seeks personal abortion stories. The literary site featured mine. Their latest post offers an up-to-date overview.

Keep current on how to obtain safe abortions and avoid legal repercussions at Infidel753’s site. Readers of Happiness Between Tails know him from when he wrote about helping women at Planned Parenthood and being vegan. Among the many links on his Sunday round ups, he includes safety nets for abortion.

This week’s guest, Aithal, was born and raised in Mumbai, India. He immigrated to New York in 1989 and now lives with his wife and two kids in Orange County, California. He’s self-published a shelf-worth of far-ranging novels, his stories often interleaved with analogies to these increasingly frightening times.

In his own words, he explains, “I’ve written six books so far. The first book is on India. It’s called India Was One and the next four are part of a science fiction series, called The Galaxy Series. They are: Beyond The Milky Way (#1), Return To Earth (#2), Divided States of America (#3) and 2120 (#4). My last book (released very recently) is called The Man From Afghanistan. I dub it as an international adventure as the story starts at Newport Beach in Orange County and ends in Rajasthan, India. All my books are available on Amazon in Kindle as well as paperback format.”

They feature gorgeous artwork by Darshini. Check out her website and her Instagram page.

To compliment them, Aithal produced a video for the artwork of India Was One. His Beyond the Milky Way illustrations move one way to music, and then another way. He’s also been interviewed by David Pakman.

Here are his self-publishing insights. He’s also written guest posts for Happiness Between Tails here and here

DIY Publishing by Aithal

Being an indie can be hard. Very hard. Take it from me; I’m one. Here are some of my experiences that I want to share:

Back when I wrote my first book, I was new to the game. Now that I have put a few years doing this, I can say that I know a bit more. In no way do I consider myself an authority, but I’m sure lots of you have experienced something similar, if not the same. I’m merely sharing this so that the newbies don’t have to go through my horrible experiences.

As all indies know, there is a very limited budget to spend. So, the best, and the most economical, way to do things are free. Fortunately, almost all the tools available are free (or inexpensive). If you are serious about getting your work seen by many, and by many I mean many strangers and not friends and family members, here are a few “musts.”

  1. Website: You have to have a website showcasing your work. There are many free website builders available in the market. They will help you get started for free.
  2. Facebook: Creating a Facebook Page for your book is an excellent way to spread the word, and it’s very easy to setup one. After setting up the page, you can invite your friends to like the page (and hope & pray that they invite their friends and so on)
  3. Twitter: Create a Twitter account to tell the world about your work and then use free services like Hootsuite to automate your tweets.

These three are the minimum “musts.” And the good news is that they all are free. You don’t have to spend a dime on creating these. There are other few you should think of having. However, they can be secondary, depending on the type of book you are writing. All of them are free.

  • YouTube: There are excellent resources to produce a book trailer. Search “free book trailer,” and you’ll find many free to use. 
  • Pinterest: Even if your book doesn’t have any artwork, you should create an account here and upload your work.

Apart from these free resources, there are many free resources available that you could (and should) take advantage of.

Have you considered writing a book?

Happy Childfree Day + Podcast: K. Parsi’s Herb Salad

Graphic of comic book woman holding her head and saying, "I can't believe I forgot to have children" by Catherine Koettler.
Amazing art by awesome artist Catherine Koettler. I googled her and her (now-defunct?) Flying Fish graphics company, but found no info to properly credit her. I’d love to hear anything you might know about Koettler.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

The right to legal abortions is in mortal danger — I posted about it before, including here and here and here, etc. Lately, between that horror and the recent annual downpour of Mother’s Day “Odes to Motherhood” asserting all women are some sort of mother, plus “mom = saint,” I’ve yearned for another kind of day.

Dear friends, neighbors, and family, keep in mind that “childfree” implies choice, whereas “childless” is its sad opposite. If your language isn’t listed, it’s only for lack of space:

Happy Childfree Day!

!Feliz día sin niños!

روز آزادی کودکان مبارک

Haurrik gabeko Egun zoriontsua!

چائلڈ فری ڈے مبارک ہو۔

Schönen kinderfreien Tag!

해피 차일드 프리 데이

Feliç dia sense nens!

ハッピーチャイルドフリーデー

Glædelig børnefri dag!

无儿童日快乐

La mulți ani fără copii!

ਬਾਲ ਮੁਕਤ ਦਿਵਸ ਮੁਬਾਰਕ

Diwrnod Rhydd o Blant Hapus!

З днем без дітей

Feliĉan Seninfanan Tagon

No offense to kids — I was one myself, hyuk hyuk, but was never into having one.

Seriously, though, as a kid I often reeled over the implication that a woman’s most valuable contribution is as a vessel. Barring that, childhood rumination involved a mini-me who I’d be angelic to in ways that I wished folks would be to me. (Insert genuine listening and caring for mini-me, rather than treating her as an appendage or toy.) Back then, I envied adoptees whose parents, I reasoned, were better equipped to regard their kids as independent and separate souls. If I were ever to become a parent, it would be that way, I told myself.

The two times I got pregnant despite contraceptives freaked me out to the extent that only after terminating them, did I muse on how motherhood might have felt. Still, friends, strangers, and doctors insisted that in due time I would long to be a mother.

Shortly after I married Mr. Marvelous, I was pregnant again. In this case, we get along so well that once some of the initial terror subsided, I chose to go through with the pregnancy. Three months later, I miscarried. Sad, yes. However, it provided a valuable window of empathy for the many women who really want kids but can’t have them.

Also, I reminded myself, if I wanted kids badly, I could just adopt. After a brief glance into what’s involved with fertility drugs and adoption, I knew once and for all that I don’t want motherhood that badly.

My hat is off to those who desire children and become parents.

And I curtsy low for people like me who are best kid-free.

Here are some interviews with people who don’t want kids…

If you’re looking for a man’s take, I found only this one with a guy’s input…

For me, particularly as a younger adult, childfree folks were down-to-earth and easier to be around. Their lives were more fulfilled and interesting. People with kids often acted as if I wasn’t a full adult, even though I fully supported myself and lived independently once I turned eighteen…

Elderly parents moaned a lot about their kids not calling and not visiting. They complained that their grown children only kept in touch when they wanted money, grandkid-sitting, or to tell them what to do. They acted far lonelier than the non-parents who learned early to appreciate a family of friends…

What do you think of childfree people? If you don’t want kids, did people say you’re bound to change your mind? In your opinion, do childfree people seem pitiable or perhaps worse?