Love and Boundaries: Dog Lessons + Podcast

Close up of a dog's nose and teeth
This picture by Sofia Oratowski of her golden retriever always makes me smile.

Love and Boundaries: Dog Lessons Happiness Between Tails

#Dogs #Pets #Love #Boundaries #Joy Have your pets made you a better human? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions by recording them on my Spotify for Podcasters page — or comment and email at HappinessBetweenTails.com. Like what you hear? Buy me a coffee. http://buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/support

For a podcast/audio version of today’s post, click the podcast player above or click here for my Spotify for Podcasters page where you’ll find links to subscribe, hear, and share episodes of Happiness Between Tails by da-AL via most any platform; from Spotify and Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is at LinkTree.

Think my doggies are my surrogate kids? Think again. Great as humans are, dogs let me experience me a different level of  joy, love, care, and wisdom.

How I wish I’d  begun to become a student of dogs way earlier. Growing up, I learned to be too nice, too accommodating, and accepting of bad treatment. If only I’d had dogs as a child!

Since caring for them, I’ve learned how what’s good for them is good for myself, too. Daily, training them teaches me about happiness and healthy relationships. One overarching lesson is that we teach others how to treat us.

My dogs patiently show me about boundaries…

  1. What boundaries I need and want. It’s okay to need and want them.
  2. What makes a harmony family.
  3. What dogs are capable of and what’s reasonable to expect from them, in terms of trusting them to learn, remember, and do.
  4. That boundaries are best communicated clearly and nonjudgmentally. If they go unheeded, I can try other ways.
  5. Patience and consistency are essential.

Keeping them physically and emotionally healthy benefits both of us…

  1. Walking my dogs daily means I walk too. It’s a time to bond. For dog and human alike, walking and playing heals mind, body, and soul.
  2. Together, we meet our neighbors.
  3. It’s easy to think I’m too busy for play and walks. They’ve taught me I shouldn’t overextend myself.
  4. They’re always happy to see me! When I’m not thrilled to come home to loved ones and myself, I need to work harder to nurture social and personal havens.
  5. Angels exist, and they’re not just dogs. For all the times I worried that I wouldn’t have the resources to keep pets, people have stepped forward. Striving for independence is great, yet my dogs remind me that everyone and everything in the world are interdependent.
  6. Cesar Milan, a.k.a., The Dog Whisperer, often talks about the importance of choosing pets who match our energy levels. Appreciating compatibility affords me insights into myself and others.
  7. Trust requires time. Every day is another chance at building and rebuilding trust.

Few things can match how, when I leave my home for only a short while, my dogs’ eyes shine with pure joy when I return. We don’t have to be dogs to show appreciation.

Have your pets made you a better human?

Sleep Disorders in Dogs and Remedies by J. Aki + Spotify Podcast

Extreme closeup of face of black and white pitbull mix dog
K-D doggie takes her beauty sleep seriously.

Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast player link above. And please give it a follow.

My dog definitely has no trouble sleeping, especially when it’s cloudy, rainy, or cold. If your dog ever does, read on for Jimmy Aki’s remedies…

Jimmy Aki is a professional writer who lives with his partner and Oscar, his cat. You can find his articles at Medium.com as well as answers on pet-related issues on Quora.com. He also crafts content strategies for websites he manages.

Sleep Disorders in Dogs and What to Do About Them by Jimmy Aki

There might be times when your dog finds it hard to sleep and it is quite noticeable when this happens. An adult dog sleeps about 8 to 14 hours daily – this combines naptime during the day and sleeps at night. Sleep is very key to your dog’s overall health as it keeps them refreshed and energetic to get on with the next day.

No one wants a canine that whines, becomes disoriented during the day, or disturbs you through the night. Sleep deprivation is a big problem in dogs and due to how easy it is for their stress hormones to build up when they are deprived of sleep, you might start noticing a change in behavior from your dog as time goes on.

Here are some common types of sleep disorders in dogs and ways you can nip it in the bud when it occurs.

1. Canine Insomnia

This is more common in older dogs and while dogs don’t suffer from it too often, it is normal to find your dog getting sleepless nights from time to time but when this trend continues for several days, then you need to check your dog as he could be suffering from insomnia. Visiting a veterinarian will help you identify the underlying problem for insomnia as it often underlines a bigger problem that you’re probably not aware of. Problems such as pent-up energy, itchy skin caused by fleas or even arthritis. Some proven methods of relieving insomnia include changing diet, acupuncture, and aromatherapy. The first stage, however, is to find out what the underlying problem is before deciding on the best solution for your dog.

2. Sleep Apnea

If your dog is constantly being overfed, there is a possibility that it could suffer from sleep apnea. This sleep disorder is common in obese dogs such as pugs and bulldogs. With sleep apnea, the excessive fat that has been stored up in the body narrows the airway, temporarily which ends up keeping the dog wide awake during the night. These constant interruptions could be mild and sometimes, it could be really severe. When it becomes severe, you will notice tiredness and chronic snoring from your dog. Treating this is important as if left untreated, it could lead to loss of life. One easy way of treating sleep apnea in dogs is through a weight loss program. These include creating a weight loss diet for your dog, limit in access to current food or in the quantity being feed, reduction in treats and table scraps. The first step here, however, is a veterinary examination. Medical examination ensures your dog is checked for any underlying cause or if there are other medical conditions that might hinder weight reduction.

3. Narcolepsy

This sleep disorder affects younger dogs and it is a nervous sleep disorder. Just as it is in humans, narcolepsy occurs when a dog suffers from excessive lack of energy and daytime sleepiness. If your dog suddenly collapses on its side and falls asleep during the day, you might have a dog that is suffering from narcolepsy. Check the muscles; are they slacking? If your dog also appears to fall into a deep sleep with rapid eye movement during this period, it’s time for you to visit the vet. As with most sleep disorders, narcolepsy has an underlying problem which is muscle paralysis otherwise known as cataplexy. Currently, this sleep disorder is not curable but it can be managed to reduce the severity and the number of narcoleptic episodes your dog suffers from.

Do your pets have problems sleeping?

In Memory of Ashley L. Peterson Pt 2 of 2: Self-Publishing + Pod

Blogging and publishing were lots more fun for Ashley with her beloved pets.
Blogging and publishing were lots more fun for Ashley with her beloved piggies.

As I posted last week with great sadness, Ashley L. Peterson, a mental health activist, blogger, author, self-publisher, and genuinely good person, recently passed away.

Her family continues her site: Mental Health @ Home: A safe place to talk openly about mental health & illness. There you’ll read her family’s comments. Moreover, they made this a memorial site to her with photos and facts about Ashley. Fellow blogging health activist Caz also posted about Ashley at her great Invisibly Me site.

Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

From any angle, writing a book is a huge undertaking — and then when it comes to publishing, that’s even huger, whether through the traditional route or by self-publishing. While I struggle to complete my novels while building an author platform, Mental health nurse/blogger/author Ashley L. Peterson of Vancouver, Canada, has put out several books!

Ashley’s favorite photo of herself with one of her adorable little ones!

“Self-Publishing: It Gets Easier” by Ashley L. Peterson

I remember how overwhelming it was when I published my first book. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and I was just flying by the seat of my pants. I had no idea what to expect when the book was released.

My second book was released 7 months later. I felt much more prepared, but then tossed in the new challenge of selling on sites other than Amazon, including my own website. There were also some hiccups; it felt like forever before Amazon accepted the file for my paperback, which turned out to be because there was a special character that it didn’t recognize and therefore didn’t accept. The biggest problem was my paperback cover; it wasn’t showing up on the Amazon listing as the same colour in the cover file I’d uploaded. I spent a whole lot of time trying to get that sorted out,

Now with my third book, I’m a lot more relaxed about the whole process. Sure, formatting and converting file types is still frustrating; I don’t think that would change even if I’d published a whole bookstore. Overall, though, I’m much more at ease. I feel a sense of mastery that I know how to do this – a very different feeling from the first time around.

I’m a huge list person, and my book launch lists are nicely fine-tuned. I’ve got all the steps laid out, so I can just do things without having to think about them.

While the learning curve is steep and self-publishing can be daunting, it gets easier – really. And if you’re thinking about self-publishing, dive right on in; the water’s warm.

Details on my new book Managing the Depression Puzzle can be found here.

I’m very grateful for my loving husband and that my dear mother and K-D doggie live with me. Are you thankful for anyone in your life?

In Memory of Ashley L. Peterson Pt 1: Self-Publishing + Podcast Ver.

Ashley L. Peterson blogged and wrote about mental health.
Ashley L. Peterson blogged and wrote about mental health.

It is with a very heavy heart that I inform you that (blogger/self-publisher/mental health activist/thoroughly great person who was always there for anyone who reached out to her) Ashley L. Peterson has passed away. Fortunately, family is keeping her site up, Mental Health @ Home: A safe place to talk openly about mental health & illness.

At Ashley’s blog, you’ll find her family’s recent post about her. In addition, they created a memorial site where you’ll see photos of Ashley, learn about her life, and of their great love for her.

Ashley contributed twice to Happiness Between Tails. What follows below and in today’s audio/podcast version, is her first contribution (the second one is here), worded exactly as it originally appeared…

Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

Mental health nurse/author Ashley L. Peterson of MentalHealthAtHome.org blogs out of Vancouver, Canada, and writes from both a personal perspective as well as that of a medical professional. She’s adamant that it’s time we remove the stigma around mental health issues.

When it comes to self-publishing, she finds it’s wise to stay flexible with her listings at Amazon. On a daily basis, she experiments with keywords, especially in terms of how they work with setting bids per clicks on ads at the amounts suggested by Amazon.

Some of Ashley L. Peterson's books.

Ashley L. Peterson publishes regularly on mental health issues.

Here’s why she calls herself, “a proud crazy guinea pig lady”…

Ashley’s favorite photo of herself with one of her adorable little ones!

“Thank Goodness For My Thera-Piggies,” by Ashley L. Peterson of MentalHealthAtHome.org

I am a crazy guinea pig lady. Crazy in more ways than one.

The most obvious, perhaps, is that I have 5 guinea pigs (3 girls and 2 boys), and I treat them like my children.

What may be less obvious is that I’m crazy in a mentally ill sense. I have depression that only partially responds to treatment, so I deal with effects of the illness every single day.

I take medication and do various other things to manage my illness, but my guinea pigs are an important part of my overall wellness.

I live alone, and my illness has made it difficult to be around other people, so I’m on my own a lot of the time – at least in terms of human contact. But I’m never actually alone when I’m at home because I have 5 very active, very vocal munchkins to keep me company.

Photo of one of Ashley L. Peterson's guinea pigs, a white furry one.
“Cute” doesn’t begin to describe Ashley’s gorgeous guinea pigs!

Routine helps me manage each day, and the piggies thrive on routine. I have a rather odd sleep schedule, which they’ve adapted to quite happily. They know that when I wake up, they get fed, so as soon as they hear me start rustling around in bed, they start wheeking (an onomatopoeic word for their “feed me” noise). It’s a pretty good motivator to get my butt out of bed.

Ashley’s pets are truly adorable!

I prefer to practice mindfulness focused outwardly rather than inwardly, and my piggies are a perfect target for that. I can just gaze at them in fascination as my mind just shuts off.

More than anything, though, they need me. They’re very good at making their needs known, and they know that I can be counted on to meet them, no matter how lousy I’m feeling. Because of that, I mean the world to them. It’s definitely mutual.

Each of us is precious…

Novelist Jacqueline Diamond Published 100+ Books

I'd be smiling this happily too if I'd published as many books as Jacqueline Diamond has!
I’d be smiling this happily too if I’d published as many books as Jacqueline Diamond has!

(For an audio version of this post, click H-E-R-E.)

Writing my first novel is hard work. Veteran writers have a lot to teach us. Take Jacqueline Diamond, for instance. She’s published — drumroll here — 102 (maybe more by the time you read this) books! It’s no wonder she won a Romantic Times Career Achievement Award and is a two-time Rita Award finalist. Her books range from mystery and non-fiction to romances for all ages (including some about couples over 50) that span the 1800s to present.

This week I’m working especially hard on meeting a couple of novel-related deadlines I’ve set for myself, so I hope you don’t mind if we get right to our guest. (Oh, but first, for the many readers who enjoyed the guest blog post here at Happiness Between Tails by The Wheelchair Teen, check out the heartfelt dialog within the comments of her reblog of it to her site.)

Jacqueline began her life in Texas. Now she and her family reside in Southern California. At her site, learn more about her, her books, sign up for her newsletter, and find more of her writing tips.

Here’s a video of her discussing how to develop interesting characters. And here she describes the storytelling ins and outs of point-of-view.

Read on for her take on how animals and pets can help round out the writing of fiction, as well as make it that much more fun for readers…

A few of Jacqueline's books and office staff members.
A few of Jacqueline’s books and office staff members.

Like Cats and Dogs! by Jacqueline Diamond

Characters in a novel take on a life of their own—and not always what the author expects. Animals are no exception!

There weren’t any furry creatures in sight when I began writing Really? At Your Age?, Book One of my Sisters, Lovers & Second Chances series. My heroine, Dr. Cody Matchett, has no pets. She’s too busy delivering babies, risking romance at the age of 52, and losing her heart to the possibility of finally having children of her own.

Cover of "Really? At Your Age?" by Jacqueline Diamond.

Then her older sister, Mandy, a resolutely single nurse, has to move in with her for a few weeks…bringing her cats. Beanie and Queenie arrive with attitude! For me, they added a lot to the fun.

Next, while searching out cover images for my next book, Don’t Be Silly! At My Age?, I came across a cat who looks just like Beanie, squaring off with a German Shepherd. And since I wanted Mandy and the new man in her life to (more or less) fight like cats and dogs, it was irresistible.

Suddenly, my hero—a mystery novelist—became the owner of an aging rescue dog. Throughout the story, the animals play a key role. 

One of my favorite scenes occurs when the heroine’s ex-boyfriend worms his way into her house by bribing her cats. A furious Mandy tells him, “You are literally something the cat dragged in!”

Cover of "Don't be Silly! At My Age?" by Jacqueline Diamond.

How did I develop personalities for my cats? That was the easy part! I’ve been owned by several of them and, seriously, have you ever met a cat that didn’t have a distinctive personality?

My experience with dogs is spottier…literally. My family once owned a Dalmatian, a rather high-strung fellow. My hero’s German Shepherd, who gazed at me with soulful eyes from the photo, turned out to be mellower.

On reflection, I’m surprised animals haven’t figured into more of my novels. Perhaps that’s because many of the stories are set in hospitals, such as my Safe Harbor Medical series.

But I’ll be looking for more furry possibilities in the future. After all, they’re fun to read about and fun to write!

What’s your fiction right now? I’m in the middle of Ernest Hemingway’s “The Garden of Eden,” published posthumously. The protagonist is a writer much like Hemingway and apart from the main story, it’s interesting to read of his writing routine and philosophy. Also, I just finished “Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows,” by Balli Kaur Jaswal, a fun yet thoughtful novel that wins beaucoup points for the title alone!