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Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL

Posted on by da-AL
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When bald is charming!

Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, I’m good now. I seriously can’t image how I would have coped without the kindness of family, friends, and big hearted strangers.

Ever wonder what to do when someone you care about encounters the Cancer Monster? Let these ten hints be a start…

  1. Good intentions are e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
  2. Be there: visit (call first), write, phone. Don’t take it personally if your dear one can’t find the words to reply quickly.
  3. Listen to them. Soak in what they have to say clear down to your brain cells.
  4. Have fun! Even if they’re stuck in bed, laughter is the best medicine!
  5. Let them vent. Hell, you can vent at the injustice of it all right along with them.
  6. Remind them that they’re resourceful, strong, and courageous. Be that way yourself, at least in front of them.
  7. Do they need help? Ask, ask, ask! Do they need a ride? Do they have plenty of groceries, clean clothes, or is their place tidy? Or do they need you to drop the C-bomb on family and friends for them? How about negotiating doctors and insurance companies? Could they use help creating an easy system for navigating medications and such?
  8. Most people hate being burdens. Be sincere with your dear one as well as yourself. Don’t overextend. You need to be there for the long haul.
  9. Be a source of hope. Save your anxiety and morbid stories about people who died of cancer for others. Scour grim words like ‘remission’ out of your vocabulary. Ditto for any others that hint at waiting for the other shoe to fall.
  10. Let them do what they need to do. Leave judging for their doctors. As a friend, your job is to stick around and add happiness to their life.

Got more tips to share?

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Published by da-AL

Happiness Between Tails speaks to and from the heart. It connects lovers — of pets, authors, books — and of my still-unreleased novels, “Flamenco + the Sitting Cat” and “Tango + the Sitting Cat.” The stories are my love letters to all who fear they're too odd, too damaged, too old, too whatever to find happiness. ContactdaAL@gmail.com • BuyMeACoffee.com/SupportHBT

78 thoughts on “Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL”

  1. Congratulations on being cancer free for ten years! 🙂

    One of my friends is in the middle of chemo treatments again. What I do is let her lead the way: I don’t push for stories or answers, I try to be there when she needs me and when I visit her I let her speak and give direction to our talks. When she’s done talking about herself I try to distract her mind with talking about me or the silly things that happened in my life. When I asked her what I can do for her, as I felt so useless, she only said: “Just be there when I need you.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Dear Samantha, your site is so fun (hint to all to visit it!) that I am certain that you are a delight – someone I would definitely appreciate being around any time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, Daal. I think we would get along great, judging from your website and your ever kind words and positive spirit. I hope in ten years I can congratulate you on being cancer free for twenty years! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so sweet, Lady G – & your site is total sweetness too! I especially love how the affection between you & cousin Ron Brown is everywhere on it 🙂

      kindness & good cheer are always infectious

      Liked by 2 people

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