Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL

Posted on by da-AL
Photo of a doll
When bald is charming!

Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, I’m good now. I seriously can’t image how I would have coped without the kindness of family, friends, and big hearted strangers.

Ever wonder what to do when someone you care about encounters the Cancer Monster? Let these ten hints be a start…

  1. Good intentions are e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
  2. Be there: visit (call first), write, phone. Don’t take it personally if your dear one can’t find the words to reply quickly.
  3. Listen to them. Soak in what they have to say clear down to your brain cells.
  4. Have fun! Even if they’re stuck in bed, laughter is the best medicine!
  5. Let them vent. Hell, you can vent at the injustice of it all right along with them.
  6. Remind them that they’re resourceful, strong, and courageous. Be that way yourself, at least in front of them.
  7. Do they need help? Ask, ask, ask! Do they need a ride? Do they have plenty of groceries, clean clothes, or is their place tidy? Or do they need you to drop the C-bomb on family and friends for them? How about negotiating doctors and insurance companies? Could they use help creating an easy system for navigating medications and such?
  8. Most people hate being burdens. Be sincere with your dear one as well as yourself. Don’t overextend. You need to be there for the long haul.
  9. Be a source of hope. Save your anxiety and morbid stories about people who died of cancer for others. Scour grim words like ‘remission’ out of your vocabulary. Ditto for any others that hint at waiting for the other shoe to fall.
  10. Let them do what they need to do. Leave judging for their doctors. As a friend, your job is to stick around and add happiness to their life.

Got more tips to share?

Published by da-AL

Happiness Between Tails blog/podcast speaks to and from the heart. It connects lovers — of pets, authors, reading — and of my still-unreleased novels. “Flamenco + the Sitting Cat” and “Tango + the Sitting Cat,” are my love letters to all who fear they're too odd, too damaged, too old, too whatever to find love and happiness with or without a partner. HappinessBetweenTails.com • ContactdaAL@gmail.com • BuyMeACoffee.com/SupportHBT

78 thoughts on “Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL”

  3. Thanks so much for your post my younger brother is suffering from cancer and it’s not looking good At times I have feel so useless and your comments really help. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. somewhere I read that the older we get, the more our bodies become our battlefield – I prefer to think of people more as Olympians – that we must train body & spirit both to have good lives 🙂

      many thanks & best to you, Christoper

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Congratulations! That’s wonderful! I think most families nowadays probably have experience of cancer somewhere in their family and relatives. It’s always such a hopeful thing to hear of someone recovering completely and staying free of it afterwards.

    Liked by 2 people

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