Photo of a doll

Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL

Posted on by da-AL
Photo of a doll
When bald is charming!

Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, I’m good now. I seriously can’t image how I would have coped without the kindness of family, friends, and big hearted strangers.

Ever wonder what to do when someone you care about encounters the Cancer Monster? Let these ten hints be a start…

  1. Good intentions are e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
  2. Be there: visit (call first), write, phone. Don’t take it personally if your dear one can’t find the words to reply quickly.
  3. Listen to them. Soak in what they have to say clear down to your brain cells.
  4. Have fun! Even if they’re stuck in bed, laughter is the best medicine!
  5. Let them vent. Hell, you can vent at the injustice of it all right along with them.
  6. Remind them that they’re resourceful, strong, and courageous. Be that way yourself, at least in front of them.
  7. Do they need help? Ask, ask, ask! Do they need a ride? Do they have plenty of groceries, clean clothes, or is their place tidy? Or do they need you to drop the C-bomb on family and friends for them? How about negotiating doctors and insurance companies? Could they use help creating an easy system for navigating medications and such?
  8. Most people hate being burdens. Be sincere with your dear one as well as yourself. Don’t overextend. You need to be there for the long haul.
  9. Be a source of hope. Save your anxiety and morbid stories about people who died of cancer for others. Scour grim words like ‘remission’ out of your vocabulary. Ditto for any others that hint at waiting for the other shoe to fall.
  10. Let them do what they need to do. Leave judging for their doctors. As a friend, your job is to stick around and add happiness to their life.

Got more tips to share?

Discover more from Happiness Between Tales (and Tails) by da-AL

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Unknown's avatar

Published by da-AL

Happiness Between Tails speaks to and from the heart. It connects lovers — of pets, authors, books — and of my still-unreleased novels, “Flamenco + the Sitting Cat” and “Tango + the Sitting Cat.” The stories are my love letters to all who fear they're too odd, too damaged, too old, too whatever to find happiness. ContactdaAL@gmail.com • BuyMeACoffee.com/SupportHBT

78 thoughts on “Happy 10 Years Cancer-Free to Me! Plus 10 Hints for if a Dear One has Cancer by da-AL”

  3. I had friends that had cancer and I was at a loss as to how to be of help. Instead of stepping up I would hide behind my inability. Now that I have gone through cancer and have seen how others came to me, I understand how any gesture to reach out is a wonderful gift to receive.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really appreciate this. Sometimes you aren’t really sure of the best way to be supportive. These guidelines really help put me in the right direction.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a reply to Judy Ray Cancel reply