Guest Blog Post: Self-Publishing: It Gets Easier by Ashley L. Peterson

February 20, 2020 da-AL Authors, Blogging, Books, Depression, Guest Posts, Happiness, Marketing, Mental Illness, Mind, Novels, Pets, Publishing, Self-Publishing, Women, Writing

Writing a book is a big thing — and then publishing it is even huger, whether through the traditional or the self route. As I complete my novels while building my platform, Mental health nurse/blogger/author Ashley L. Peterson of Vancouver, Canada, has already put out several books!

Ashley’s favorite photo of herself with one of her adorable little ones!

She first visited us here — and now she’s back with a new book and more self-publishing advice!…

Writing is more fun with a sidekick like Peanut, Ashley’s guinea pig.

“Self-Publishing: It Gets Easier” by Ashley Peterson

I remember how overwhelming it was when I published my first book. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and I was just flying by the seat of my pants. I had no idea what to expect when the book was released.

My second book was released 7 months later. I felt much more prepared, but then tossed in the new challenge of selling on sites other than Amazon, including my own website. There were also some hiccups; it felt like forever before Amazon accepted the file for my paperback, which turned out to be because there was a special character that it didn’t recognize and therefore didn’t accept. The biggest problem was my paperback cover; it wasn’t showing up on the Amazon listing as the same colour in the cover file I’d uploaded. I spent a whole lot of time trying to get that sorted out,

Now with my third book, I’m a lot more relaxed about the whole process. Sure, formatting and converting file types is still frustrating; I don’t think that would change even if I’d published a whole bookstore. Overall, though, I’m much more at ease. I feel a sense of mastery that I know how to do this – a very different feeling from the first time around.

I’m a huge list person, and my book launch lists are nicely fine-tuned. I’ve got all the steps laid out, so I can just do things without having to think about them.

While the learning curve is steep and self-publishing can be daunting, it gets easier – really. And if you’re thinking about self-publishing, dive right on in; the water’s warm.

Details on my new book Managing the Depression Puzzle can be found here.

What’s your experience with publishing and building a platform?

Guest Blog Post: dissociative identity disorder by Mike (And the gang)

October 14, 2019 da-AL Body, Boundaries, Bravery, Depression, Family, Gender, Gratitude, Guest Posts, Happiness, Health, Identity, Individuality, Mental Illness, Mind, Personalities

Disclaimer: I know virtually nothing about Dissociative identity disorder (DiD). How about you?

Thanks to Mike and his inner family’s courageous blog (which includes informative posts like this), I’ve gratefully gained a bit of awareness. Perhaps you, dear reader, will take the time to learn too…

Mike (And the gang) blog from the Northeast U.S.. They say of their site: “We live with Dissociative Identity Disorder. We are a close-knit family system whose mission is to educate and entertain others about the reality of what it means to live with DiD. We invite you to our website and to learn more about us! You can interact us with there, as well, if you like. Most in our family love making new friends.”

According to them, “…every human on Earth has multiple personalities. We all talk to ourselves; Have internal dialogues.”

In trying to understand, I asked what they thought of this mainstream online definition of DiD. They answered, “The descriptions of DiD are always…”Sterile.” Describing DiD from a medical perspective is completely different from the subjective experiencing of it. While science claims that alters are defense mechanisms, living with alters and becoming them – they aren’t defense mechanisms. They are individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, agendas, and disposition(s). It’s much more complicated and delicate than what’s being described in medically sterile terms….1% of the population? We would say those numbers are wrong, a bit high. Many people who claim to have DiD are actually misdiagnosed by doctors who don’t understand the disorder. Also, many therapists will erroneously suggest DiD or alters to a patient.”

Mike (And the gang)’s daughter, Katy Mae, describes the experience of a dominant split, “which can be a terrifying and mystifying experience to have,” here…

Image by Mike (And the gang) of Kayleigh with her pigtails in.

“Streetlights” by Katy Mae

Streetlights pass but time stands still; Mouths move but with no sound,

There are no longer, my memories, to hold on to; Disappeared in the night.

Not able to shiver, not able to cry,

This night is different but there have been many like it.

A blank stare, a whisper in the night,

lights pass in the night; Mouths move but there aren’t words -Just noise.

Who are we now, with no destination; no place to call home,

red lights pass in a blur; my own comfort to a place unknown.

There are no longer dreams, no more nightmares in this place

memories slip away while faster cars pass.

Who are we now and why must we go,

another stop away from nowhere.

The radio plays, my favorite song whose title I can’t recall,

not that it matters; My former life is now gone.

Replaced with a ghost whose name no one knows,

There’s no time to breathe, no time to whisper for help.

No longer awake, no longer asleep; Who are we now?

life, oh life, it comes to a halt while I still breathe.

Where are we now; I’ve forgotten my name again,

remember it, whoever I become; Whom I fear the most.

No one to hug as we travel alone in our world; This cold, lonely place,

still someone speaks; Still, just noise and static.

I’d rather stare ahead and forget who I am becoming,

please don’t stop; The passing lights are an illusion of escape.

Who are we now and where are we going; your voice has changed,

the sun is rising and I can’t remember my name,

How did I end up in this cold dark car,

and why with you; Who are you?

Guest Blog Post: Self-Publishing and Guinea Pigs with Ashley L. Peterson

October 7, 2019 da-AL Authors, Blogging, Books, Depression, Guest Posts, Happiness, Marketing, Mental Illness, Mind, Novels, Pets, Publishing, Self-Publishing, Women, Writing

Happiness…my experience (a little about it here and here) is that sometimes it comes easily — and sometimes it takes commitment.

Mental health nurse/blogger/author Ashley L. Peterson of Vancouver, Canada, writes personally as well as medically about mental health. She is adamant that mental health issues needn’t be stimagized. She’s self-published two books: “Psych Meds Made Simple” and “Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis.” As a soon-to-be self-published author myself, she generously discussed what works for her. For Amazon, she stays flexible and experiments daily with keywords, particularly how they work with setting bids per clicks on ads at the amounts suggested by Amazon.

In her own words, she’s “a proud crazy guinea pig lady”! Here she explains why…

“Thank Goodness For My Thera-Piggies,” by Ashley L. Peterson

I am a crazy guinea pig lady. Crazy in more ways than one.

The most obvious, perhaps, is that I have 5 guinea pigs (3 girls and 2 boys), and I treat them like my children.

What may be less obvious is that I’m crazy in a mentally ill sense. I have depression that only partially responds to treatment, so I deal with effects of the illness every single day.

“Cute” doesn’t begin to describe Ashley’s little dear!

I take medication and do various other things to manage my illness, but my guinea pigs are an important part of my overall wellness.

I live alone, and my illness has made it difficult to be around other people, so I’m on my own a lot of the time – at least in terms of human contact. But I’m never actually alone when I’m at home because I have 5 very active, very vocal munchkins to keep me company.

Routine helps me manage each day, and the piggies thrive on routine. I have a rather odd sleep schedule, which they’ve adapted to quite happily. They know that when I wake up, they get fed, so as soon as they hear me start rustling around in bed, they start wheeking (an onomatopoeic word for their “feed me” noise). It’s a pretty good motivator to get my butt out of bed.

These two guys of Ashley could be a dictionary illustration for “beguiling.”

I prefer to practice mindfulness focused outwardly rather than inwardly, and my piggies are a perfect target for that. I can just gaze at them in fascination as my mind just shuts off.

More than anything, though, they need me. They’re very good at making their needs known, and they know that I can be counted on to meet them, no matter how lousy I’m feeling. Because of that, I mean the world to them. It’s definitely mutual.

How do you relieve your stress?

Guest Blog Post: “Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t” by Caz

February 4, 2019February 6, 2019 da-AL Adults, Anxiety, Blogging, Body, Boundaries, Bravery, Celebration, Challenge, Compassion, Courage, Decision-making, Definitions, Dementia, Depression, Fear, Gratitude, Guest Posts, Happiness, Health, Help, Heroine, Humor, Identity, Individuality, Joy, Kindness, Labels, Learning, Loneliness, Love, Mental Illness, Mind, Mindfulness, Psychology, Reblog, Recovery, Resolutions, Self Esteem, Self Image, Self-Acceptance, Survivors, Teaching, Women, Words

My inner cynic can loom monstrous enough to be laughable. When it skulks, it can be harder to address. Caz, who lives in England, understands that emotions are part of being human. Without being syrupy, without promoting denial, she offers practical help. Her Invisibly Me site deals with living with invisible chronic pain, including living with an ileostomy (not to be confused with a colostomy). Here’s a sample of her best advice…

Photo of blogger Caz of InvisiblyMe.com — Caz made her first website when she was 13!

I wrote this with chronic illness in mind, but it also applies to other spheres of life, from living arrangements to your financial situation.

Focussing on what you can’t do. It can become a vicious cycle, leaving us exhausted and disheartened before we even begin. It can happen for various reasons. Looking at how things used to be in the past, such as before chronic illness took hold. It may be from social pressures concerning what we ‘should’ be doing at this point in our lives. It may be from comparing your life to how you thought it would look, or comparing your situation to that of your peers.

For whatever reason, it’s good to work on acknowledging and accepting the situation and what you can’t necessarily change right now. Then, redefine what’s important to you, not what you feel you ‘should’ value or want. Write your own rules. Find new paths to explore and get creative to find ways to get there. Maybe you can’t do certain things, but there will always be options and alternatives. There are always small changes you can make and actions to take to improve your situation or live your best life. You may just have to look a little harder to find them.

It’s also about readjusting expectations and making them more realistic and manageable. Take note of the things you can be grateful for that often get lost in the midst of pain and illness, or stress and worry. It’s about looking at the things you’re good at and the positives you can eek out of your situation and experiences. You’ve become stronger and more resilient. Perhaps you’ve met new people in person or online, such as through blogging or support groups. Maybe you’re more compassionate, empathic, have found a new skill or have become more appreciative of the small joys in life.

When we focus on the negatives, the limitations or the things we can’t change, we give up our power. By honing in on those things you can’t do or have, or the ways in which you feel constrained, it limits your perspective and experiences even more so.

By focusing on the can’t-dos, you’re reducing yourself & your life. You are more than just the things you can’t do.

Empower yourself by looking at what you can do, no matter how small. Look at the things you can change, the tasks you can accomplish, the things you can choose to do.

Instead of ‘I can’t do…’, change it to ‘but I can do…’.

You’re doing the best you can, with the cards you’ve been dealt and the situation you find yourself in. A little jiggle of perspective can make a big difference. Don’t close yourself off from possibilities. Instead, think outside the box and take back some control over your life. You may just find that you’re capable of more than you imagined.

– Caz

Visit Caz at her blog and her facebook page and her Instagram.

How do you deal with invisible pain?…

Guest Post: 10 Harmless Things Said That Hurt by Uncustomary Housewife

February 1, 2019February 1, 2019 da-AL Adults, Anxiety, Blogging, Body, Boundaries, Bravery, Compassion, Courage, Definitions, Dementia, Depression, Guest Posts, Happiness, Health, Help, Heroine, Individuality, Joy, Labels, Loneliness, Love, Mental Illness, Mind, Mindfulness, Reblog, Recovery, Self Esteem, Self Image, Self-Acceptance, Survivors, Teaching, Words

I admit it — I suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. Fortunately, Uncustomary Housewife offers help from anyone who shares my predicament…

Uncustomary Housewife

I’m letting my heart spill out through my keyboard… metaphorically, of course, and I’m offering it all to you. Today, I’m going to talk about my mental health. This is something that I’ve worked to conceal for a long time, mostly because of the negative stigma attached to mental illness. I’m sharing for two main reasons; (1) to educate people, and (2) to show people like me that they are not alone.

For the record: I’m living with Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder… In this post I’m sharing 10 “harmless things” that people have said to me that actually cause me a great deal of pain. I’m also sharing how they make me feel, and why, while giving you an inside look at my life.

So, these are the things I wish you wouldn’t say to me;

“You don’t look like you have a mental illness.”
More commonly stated as…

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Happy Un-Holidays by da-AL

December 7, 2018 da-AL Adults, Anxiety, Art, Beauty, Blessings, Body, Bravery, Celebration, Common Good, Compassion, Consumerism, Depression, Events, Fatherhood, Female Shamans, Fiction, Film, Fine Art, Gender, Gender-Creative, Happiness, Heroes, Heroine, Holidays, Humor, Identity, Individuality, Joy, Kindness, Life, Loneliness, Love, Magic, Marketing, Marriage, Mental Illness, Mind, Modern Life, Motherhood, Mothers, Movies, Parenting, Partying, Self Esteem, Self Image, Survivors, Uncategorized, United States

Not feeling holiday cheerful? Don’t despair — holidays are merely dates on the calendar. Before you know it, they’ll be over and done with.

Here’s confirmation that Xmas isn’t always merry — but life can still be funny or at least interesting. The Davenport family holidays, as realized by John Waters, the king cult film-making, with the help of Devine who departed from us far too soon…

Are you feeling holiday-ish?

Guest Blog Post: Don’t by Born in Providence

August 28, 2018September 23, 2018 da-AL Adults, Altruism, Art, Beauty, Blessings, Blogging, Boundaries, Bravery, Celebration, Challenge, Compassion, Courage, Dance, Decision-making, Depression, Fear, Focus, Friendship, Goal-Setting, Gratitude, Guest Posts, Happiness, Help, Heroine, Identity, Joy, Kindness, Loneliness, Love, Magic, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, Modern Life, Motivation, Partying, Playing, Poetry, Pride, Psychology, Reblog, Self Esteem, Self Image, Self-Acceptance, Spirit, Strength, Women, Words, Writing

When nowhere seems safe, blogger Born in Providence invites us to find shelter on her Island of Sanctuary…

Born in Providence

Don’t show them your drawing

They’ll find the mistakes, compare it to what’s already on the fridge or that Picasso we saw on the field trip last year. Third grade is no excuse; third degree.

Don’t ask them how you look

They’ll find the bump in your pony, the hole in your sock which is already inside your shoe, which are too tight and have a scuff. They’ll see that too. You look tired. Did you even brush your teeth?

Don’t tell them you’re hungry or full

They’ll decide you’re too big, small, selfish, greedy, a bottomless pit, picky. Comparing your plate to everyone with more or less deserving than you, making it impossible to taste or swallow past the lump in your throat.

Don’t offer your opinion even when they ask

They’ll decide their ideas, experiences, thoughts and preferences are superior while simultaneously highlighting why everything that comes out…

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Guest Blog Post: The Little Guy Who Stole Our Hearts by Debbie Centeno

August 19, 2018September 23, 2018 da-AL Achievement, Activism, Adoption, Adults, Animal Husbandry, Animals, Anxiety, Blessings, Blogging, Boys, Celebration, Compassion, Depression, Dogs, Family, Fear, Friendship, Gratitude, Guest Posts, Heroine, Identity, Joy, Kindness, Loneliness, Love, Mental Illness, Mind, Mindfulness, Modern Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Pets, Recovery, Soul, Spirit, Strength, Survivors, Women, WordPress, Words, Working, Working from Home, Writing

Live long enough, and we’re bound to encounter challenges. With the help of a friend, Debbie Centeno (who runs this blog and this blog) uses her grief to help others…

I never knew how much a person could grow to love their pet. I wasn’t raised with pets, other than fish in a tank. And, there’s no way you can take them out of the tank to play, pet or cuddle. I just loved my aquarium but in a materialistic way. As an adult, I didn’t think about getting a pet since I was quite busy with three children. But, after my oldest son passed away, and my two other children were no longer small kids, my daughter convinced me to get a dog. So we opted for a rescue.

I made a few calls to see what dogs were available to adopt. We found a place that had a mama dog who had recently given birth to seven puppies – six female and one male. The male was the runt and was rejected by his mama, but I wanted a female. That was until we met the little guy, of course. All puppies were side by side sleeping on their tummies, except the little runt who was sleeping on his back almost on top of his sisters. He was much smaller than the others. When I saw him – well, I don’t know what I felt, but I just had to have him, so the volunteer picked him up and placed him in my arms, and that was it. I was in love. I handed him to my husband, and he felt the same way. So off we were with a 5-week old 2-pound Chihuahua/Dachshund mix. We named him Chewy, and it suits him well.

Chewy is now 6-years old and 20 lbs. I can’t imagine life without him and don’t regret having followed my daughter’s advice. He is the most loving, spoiled brat ever who stole our hearts. I know he’s not human, but for me, he’s my baby.

Debbie Centeno is a wife, a grieving mom, an accountant, and a travel blogger. Learn more about her here and here.

Guest Blog Post: Ignorance by Chuy

August 7, 2018September 23, 2018 da-AL Animals, Anxiety, Blogging, Bravery, Cancer, Celebration, Challenge, Common Good, Compassion, Death, Decision-making, Depression, Dogs, Environment, Environmental Protection, Fear, Goal-Setting, Gratitude, Guest Posts, Happiness, Health, Heaven on Earth, Heroes, Heroine, Identity, Individuality, Joy, Kindness, Learning, Life, Life Expectancy, Loneliness, Love, Magic, Mental Illness, Mind, Mindfulness, Motivation, Nature, Pets, Reblog, Recovery, Self Esteem, Self Image, Soul, Spirit, Strength, Teachers, Teaching

It took me a long time to learn this. Paz’ dog Chuy taught it to him…

Chow Dog Zen

Road to The Wonder Woods

Just because you

Don’t Know

You are

Beautiful,

Perfect,

And Precious to this

Great Cosmos

Doesn’t mean

It isn’t So.

Chuy

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Guest Blog Post: Reconnecting via Photography by Richard Keys

June 27, 2018September 23, 2018 da-AL Adults, Animals, Anxiety, Art, Beauty, Bees, Birds, Blessings, Blogging, Body, Bravery, Bugs, Butterflies, Challenge, Courage, Depression, Fear, Film, Fine Art, Focus, Guest Posts, Happiness, Health, Insects, Joy, Men, Mental Illness, Mind, Mindfulness, Modern Life, Photography, Self Esteem, Self Image, Self-Acceptance, Wildlife

Puffin (Bempton) — Photo courtesy by Richard Keys of Photosociology.wordpress.com

Fellow blogger Richard’s photos are stunning! Here he describes his process and how photography can heal…

Introduction
Hey, I’m Richard, and my blog is photosociology.wordpress.com. To be honest, I’m surprised that my blog is followed by others, I’m just a guy with mental health problems, which photography helps me to cope with. Initially, it got me going outside when I was too scared to do so. Basically, I’m a middle-aged guy, trying to grow up and find a way to live in this confusing world.

Reconnecting
Although I am a student photographer and use photography to explore social issues, such as inequality, mental health, and diversity (and more), I also thoroughly enjoy photography. Macro photography and photographing birds are my joy and my peace, especially when I am having a day of intense anxiety, panic attacks, and paranoia.

When photographing birds, flowers, bees, and bugs, I have to slow down. I mean really slow down. I’m not here to take a quick photo and walk on. I want to make a great photo and that means searching. Seeking out the best angle, ensuring that the background doesn’t distract from the subject, checking the focus, and making sure the exposure is correct. When it comes to bugs, bees, and butterflies, I have to slow down even further, firstly to spot them and then to ensure great focus by getting close without scaring them off.

Having a mental illness brings challenges with living, over-thinking, analyzing, being busy because I’m scared of my feelings, and being suspicious and paranoid about people. At first, I was scared of slowing down because I thought these difficulties would overwhelm me, but the opposite is true.

Slowing down is vital for my mental health, it refreshes me, recharges me, helps me to stop running from my emotions and thoughts, and allows whatever is there to be allowed to be, as it is. The process of connecting with nature means that I reconnect with myself, and all is surprisingly well.

Richard Keys