Age Defying Book Reviews + Robert Pacilio’s Act II + Podcast

Graphic from Anchor.fm regarding my podcasting accomplishments for 2022.
2022 HBT Podcast stats and graphic from Anchor.
Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

Reading and writing (click here for more about my books) allow me to walk in the shoes of other people, and for that I sure am grateful!

Thank heaven for writers like Ariel Henley, a young woman who describes what it is to be born (in this case with her twin sister) with Crouzon Syndrome, a condition wherein the skull doesn’t evolve as it does for most of us. Along her journey that’s included countless surgeries, she’s ruminated on beauty in ways that most of us never consider.

Here’s my review of her book, “A Face for Picasso: Coming of Age with Crouzon Syndrome,” for Amazon and Goodreads:

Ariel Henley’s brave recount of growing up far beyond the absolutes of what society deems “conventional beauty” illustrates how truly limiting those confines are. Gorgeously and honestly written, she reminds us what each of us unfortunately needs to be reminded of over and over again. Our “shoulds” about our bodies don’t serve us unless they include our souls and our uniquenesses.

Cover of A Face for Picasso: Coming of Age with Crouzon Syndrome by
Ariel Henley.

In the realm of fiction, Helene Tursten offers up Maude, an octogenarian who’s had it up to there with bad people. She’s a killer without remorse.

My review of Helene’s first small book of short stories about her, “An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good,” for Amazon and Goodreads:

Move over Olive Kitteridge (which I adored too, but in a different way). Maude’s fed up. She’s in her late 80s and she’s not taking it anymore… Such a rollick! The sequel is super charming too!

An Elderly Lady Is Up to No Good by Helene Tursten

For the sequel, “An Elderly Lady Must Not be Crossed,” I offered:

Woman in her late 80’s is a killer. What’s not to like? #1 was great & this #2 is even more fun.

Cover of An Elderly Lady Must Not be Crossed by Helene TurstenAriel Henley.

Today’s guest, Robert Pacilio, has self-published five novels of various genres — all after he retired from teaching! Find out more about him and his books, as well as to reach him for speaking engagements and book clubs, via his website.

Here he shares how he mined what he learned in Act I of his life to segue into his Act II…

Screenshot of one of Robert Pacilio's virtual book club meetings with images of some of his novels.
Robert Pacilio at upper left of a virtual book club meeting. The bottom row shows some of his novels.

Curtain’s up on ACT II by Robert Pacilio

Hello. I was born in 1955…that means that I am 67 years young. I started self-publishing my novels at 54. For 32 years, I was a high school teacher. That was ACT I. I loved teaching—I still love making a cameo appearance in another teacher’s classroom. 

ACT I was a hit. I won numerous awards; however, the best reward was the love and respect of my students—which is why my next book is a memoir about those students and my impact on their lives. It is due out later this year.

I have always told stories—written and spoken, and as you read about my journey to ‘authorship’, you are likely to wonder how I got to “the Promised Land.” 

Here is my answer: I didn’t get to the mythical land of the New York Times bestseller list. That is a mirage that seduces everyone with a word processor. If that is your endgame and nothing short of that is acceptable, then get used to rejection. Rejection. Rejection. (And I might add—those rejections will come in bland, form letters…if you receive anything at all.

So, you ask, why do I feel successful as a writer? How did my author’s biography indicate that this indie writer made a difference with his loyal readership? And just how did I even accumulate a readership? Let’s go back in time for the answers. Before we do, let’s discuss the latest trending word: nepo-babies.

Nepo-babies are not you or me. They do not need to read this or any other blog about being published. Why? Because they are (a) rich since their parents are rich; (b) children whose parents are famous; (c) they know people inside of the business of ‘publications’ because their parents do; (d) they went to Yale, Harvard, Stanford, etc., because their parents did, and they have ‘connections’; and finally (e) all the above.

That is not us, Gang. My parents were Tessie and Louie, Italians who came out of East New York (the non-glamorous side of Brooklyn in the 1940’s and 50’s).They  graduated from high school and then spent a lifetime making a living in the world of hard knocks. 

So if you are like me, just a hard working, regular person who learned his craft and then decided to have a second act as a writer, nobody–I mean nobody—is going to give you an unearned break. You have to earn it the old fashioned way—with grit and drive. No quitters make it and there are no short cuts for “tramps like us” (apologies to Springsteen).

Okay, still with me. Good. Flashback to 2007 when I decide to write a semi-autobiographical novel about a year in the lives four fictionalized students whose teacher just happens to be me. I wrote the novel as I was teaching  American literature that year and it took a year. I had a close friend as my editor, not a professional but close enough at the time. Once done, I had a manuscript and I did what all writers do—head to Writers Market to query an agent. 

It is said 50 rejections is typical. That’s what I received. Some advised me to turn it into a how-to- book because non-fiction sells. That was not my jam.

Out of the blue, a former student who graduated years before visits my classroom (this is during my final years of teaching), and he tells me he works for Createspace. I ask, “Is this is a vanity publication?”

He responds, “No. You do all the work, hire an internal book designer, a cover designer, and an editor, and when you are done, we produce the book. You receive 70% of the profit.”

And that’s how I got started. Createspace had a community I could tap into to hire an internal book designer. I had a graphic artist and photographer whom I worked with and joined my team. Within a few months, VOLIA—“Meetings at the Metaphor Café” was born!

How did I produce it? My designer (Tony Loton and based in London) uploaded the manuscript and the Kindle version. He charged me $1,000 roughly (in 2007), and since I was already a teacher in a large district as well as being the 1998 San Diego County Teacher of the Year, I had what they call a PLATFORM. This allowed me to speak at teacher conventions, other schools outside my district, and even travel outside my state of California as word spread. That novel was nominated by other teachers for the California Young Readers Award (the only one to be self-published). Needless to say, I didn’t win. Remember, I am an outsider.

From there I wrote a sequel to that YA (young adult) book and then I moved to a different genre—adult/romance (think Nicholas Sparks—not Danielle Steel). During that time, I still was querying agents, and one agent who was impressed with my dogged pursuit of a publisher for my first novel decided to take me on. “EUREKA!” I thought. 

She asked me to make over 100 edits to the manuscript, and then she tried to sell it to publishers. But as you might have guessed there were no takers. Why? First, it was self-published and they felt that most buyers have already bought it. Second, it was not “real enough” meaning no sex, violence, gratuitous cursing (the f-word). I wanted teenagers to read this is class and for a Board of Education to approve the novel, which has happened. Nevertheless, publishers believed that kids would not read a story that was just about growing up and learning about life from a teacher who didn’t look like Michelle Phieffer. 

So after a year of those rejections, we parted ways until my next adult novel “The Restoration” was completed. She told me to not self-publish until she read it. I did as she suggested. She asked me to make numerous changes, and after I followed her advice, she abruptly decided it was a romance, and she did not handle that genre. I know what you are thinking—you must have been very angry. I was. She apologized. End of story. 

My next novel “Meet Me at Moonlight Beach” also didn’t get any agent interest although at this point I was none too interested in the run-around.  But the novel sure did sell. It got the attention of the local columnist Karla Peterson of the San Diego-Union-Tribune and a front page review in its “Arts” section—with a picture, no less (40 copies sold just that day). The power of media is evidently impactful. The same week, the books was for sale at none other than Barnes and Noble! I was invited to speak there. All this happened in 2018 and 2019. The train was rolling down the tracks…then Covid made the world skid to a stop.

During the isolation of 2020 I wrote my latest novel a legal/political jury trial titled “Whitewash.” This time I made a concerted effort to snag an agent using Querytracker. I decided to query several hundred agencies, and from all that effort I received two “nibbles.” You should know that each query requires a different chapter sample, different versions of my biography, and introductory query letters to grab their agency’s attention… so it took months of diligent work. In the end, of the two that seemed interested, one just ignored me (after making me wait for two months) and the other agent took it to his higher-ups. They thought it wouldn’t sell. So another no-thank-you, Sir, moment. I proceeded to self-publish it, and it has done fairly well, despite the Covid quarantine all of us have been dealing with.  

So what are the ways I get the word out? All of the following tasks paid some dividends:

  • YouTube videos of me reading various sections of my novels, placed on Facebook, Twitter and any other social network with which I can engage.
  • Speaking at as many conventions as possible is enormously helpful. Teachers, writers, service clubs, and church groups.
  • Creating my own website www.robertpacilio.net and having a professional set it up on WIX. It has reviews of all my novels, links to video clips, and how to purchase any of my work, including how to order directly from me (and get a signed copy which I pay to ship it to the buyer). It also has a PayPal link for an easy purchase.
  • Getting local media outlets to cover/review my books. The local newspapers that serve communities are really helpful and will work with a determined writer.  
  • Gathering all readers into a community and sending out newsletters updating what you are doing and where you will be speaking. Even small groups at a Starbucks work well. That is a way to get book clubs interested—especially if they know you can travel to them as I have.
  • I have a former student who specializes in publicity, and she has taken me on as her pro-bono client. She organized the virtual book club meetings during Covid and interviewed me on a Facebook LIVE segment.
  • I have spoken at Barnes and Noble and other bookstores. They demand a healthy cut in the profits but that is just the way it is. 
  • I have a tribe of loyal friends who act as readers of my manuscripts. They are so helpful, and they will spread the word. I also encourage folks to review my novels on Amazon.
  • I have been on several podcasts. They help reach people outside your “zone” of influence. 

The most important thing I can tell an indie or a person breaking into the writer’s Field of Dreams is that YOU HAVE TO BE ACTIVE AS YOUR OWN SALES FORCE. Nobody else can sell your work effectively. You can’t just write a book and sit back passively, hoping the droves of fans will line up for your John Hancock.

As for getting rich, I would say that self-publishing a book means you probably have to front about $1,000 to $2,000. If you work hard and your writing touches your audience, you will make that back and more. I’ve been fortunate to have a great team working with me for the last 13 years. Michelle Lovi in New Zealand has edited two of my novels and designed the interior and covers. I highly recommend her, and I will pass on her information to anyone who wishes to reach her. 

I wish all of you luck and to remember that nothing comes easily—certainly not writing. Be open to revisions and do not be discouraged. The curtain rises on Act II and the person who raises that curtain is YOU. Break a leg.

Do you have plans to author a book? Will you seek an agent or publish it yourself?

Author Reality: Charles Sterling on Marketing + Audio/Podcast

Marketing, building a platform as a writer… There’s more to being a novelist than most people think…

Photo of author Charles Sterling.
Self-portrait of author Charles Sterling.
Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

I’m no expert on how to market fiction writing. Although I’ve produced video documentaries, radio news, published non-fiction articles and a short story or two, I’m still getting my novels ready to publish. What I know for certain is I’m having fun here — meeting you as I build my author platform! Who knew I’d encounter so many friendly people from all over the world, who would open my ridiculously sheltered eyes?

Before I started blogging, I romanticized the role of Author with a capital “A.” No need to lift a finger to sell their books. On talent alone, I believed, they attracted their super-star literary agent and publisher.

Before Author brandishes pen and paper or fires up their computer, there’s a rousing jog with their dog, a refreshing shower, and a decadent breakfast with aromatic teas. Next, Author inhabits their writing worlds from a cushy seat before an incredible desk that faces a spectacular view. For the sake of creativity, there’s a midmorning espresso break with sweets ala the madeleines writer Marcel Proust used as analyze memory.

Throw in more writing, a leisurely lunch, strolls between writing, which culminate at four for a feast shared with famed thinkers. Sleep is restful, peacefully given now and then to inspiring dreams… well, you get the picture…

Alas, that daydream is akin to figuring that all the amazing painters of bygone days did was simply dab at their canvases between tasting the displays of sumptuous meals they depicted and keeping their stunning models warm. Clothed subjects were always famed and genius…

In my fantasies, nowhere does marketing rear its head. Certainly, in my dreams, the fame of great Authors never involves any of them setting aside part of their day to develop an author platform.

For some writers, publicity is part of their process…

The novels I’m working on are comprised as letters to a deceased grandmother. Many stellar authors began by serializing their books. Charles Dickens, who wrote “A Christmas Carol,” and “Oliver Twist,” was a master of episodic, a.k.a. serial, storytelling. His chapters, which were featured in newspapers, garnered so much attention that he bound them into the popular novels we know did quite well!

Another successful writer who worked that way, Helen Fielding. Her film hit, “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” was first serialized in newspapers.

Armistead Maupin did the same with “Tales of the City.” He’d get home from wild 1970s San Francisco parties, mine whatever occurred for his serialized newspaper column, and voila!

The same goes for author/bloggers…

The blog posts of E. L. James “Fifty Shades of Grey” atom bombed indo books, movies, and who knows what else.

Julie Powell’s “Julie and Julia” blog also turned into a book and a movie.

For my books, my plan is to eventually podcast bits of my novel and then get it into print. This blog is the beginning, where I gather a circle of friends who are interested in novels and arts, who spread the word about my writing, and who hopefully will enjoy my books.

Author Charles Sterling wrote his first novel when he was 15 and has published many more since then! He writes and blogs from Russia. Here he shows us how easy the marketing/platforming side of writing is and that it builds upon itself…

Photo of author Charles Sterling.
Photo of author Charles Sterling.

Book Marketing & Author Platform by Charles Sterling

Introduction

One day at age fifteen I walk into my father’s room and I ask him; ‘how difficult is it to write a book?’ He replies, ‘son, it’s the easiest thing in the world!’ Now, whether he was right or wrong, I believed him, and that belief allowed me to write my first ever 75k book at that young age.

Had I asked him ‘how difficult is it to sell a book?’ perhaps the answer would have been different. Selling a book is a whole other world. When you’re writing, you’re an artist. When you’re marketing, you’re in the business sphere. That’s where book marketing and the author platform comes in!

How to market your book

Having been marketing since 2011, when I made my first thousand dollars I used methods that would never work anymore! As times change, so does marketing. But luckily I adapted my approach and saw a steady improvement and increase in sales. The wonderful thing is, it’s like a snowball that goes down a hill and keeps getting bigger. The more books you sell, the more Amazon recommends your books!

Here’s what I did for my past few books.

  1. Set your book for free and do some promotion stacking through “free book promotion” websites. This will give you thousands of downloads and some much needed reviews.
  2. Pin your book with an inviting image to the top of your Twitter.
  3. Promote it in forums like Reddit and GoodReads.
  4. Have an incredible book cover.

We eat with our eyes first! And we do judge books by their covers. I guarantee you that if you had the best book cover in the world, your need for marketing would be zero. The book cover would do the job for you all the way to the New York Times Best Seller list.

Often enough as writers, after we’re done writing and we get onto promoting we start looking for ways to get more viewers. We forget about what we’ve been working on so hard and begin relying websites and methods to get us where we want to be. I wish to reiterate on this extremely important point, a good book cover sells your books first! And the reviews sell your book second, so make sure your book is wonderful too.

Personally, I design my covers myself because I’ve been graphic designing as long as I’ve been writing. Essentially one must look at the top selling book covers in your niche create something thematically similar. The reason being that, readers out there already know what they’re looking for, so it’s your book cover’s job to accurately portray that.

Now, I chose to market my ebooks exclusively through Amazon for its KDP program allowing you to set discount prices as well as put your book out for free. The free book part is important to get some reviews going early on. Amazon is also a good focus point because by putting all your effort into your book, the algorithm helps push your book forward by placing it in the “Recommended Books” section of your potential readers, which is what allows you to sell books even when you haven’t marketed for months.

I’ve tried publishing in Barnes & Nobles and SmashWords, but so far really enjoyed focusing on purely Amazon.

The Author Platform

It’s super easy, but super important to have! Once you have an author platform you’ll be proud of yourself and even feel a little famous when you appear in Google searches.

Twitter

I believe Twitter is perfect for a few reasons; most authors and readers are either on Twitter or Facebook. Instagram is an image based platform, I tried it for a while and didn’t quite like it.

On Twitter the hashtag game is a lot stronger than on Facebook, making it easier to fit into a specific niche and target specific groups of people. The retweet function is nifty as well, as others retweet your stuff for more people to see!

So if you do decide on Twitter, get a photogenic picture of yourself and write a short and sweet bio. No need to be too long. Pin your book to the top of your page, and spend the rest of your social media rants about yourself, things you find funny and your opinions on things. If your Twitter is filled with nothing but your book, people will turn away.

Your book will already be pinned on top, so every single person that comes onto your profile is forced to see it before they see the rest. “The rest” should be inviting things and things that people can relate to and understand you better as a person. You want them to say “wow, I like this person. I’ll follow them and take a look at their book.”

To get followers is really easy; go around your niche and comment and put likes on people’s stuff. Thirty minutes of twittering a day and you’ll have a thousand followers in two weeks. I did just that with no complications!

Website

Get either a Wix or a WordPress website going, use a free template to make it look nice, and fill it up with your stuff. Have a page for your books, have a page for your author bio, a page for your short stories or poetry, or even a page for pictures of your pet.

Images you use on your website will appear in Google Images, so make sure to keyword them with your name.

Words that you use in “Heading” format will appear in Google Search, so make sure they’re your book titles or your name. Then add your website to your Twitter and you’re basically set! A website might seem like the hardest part, but once you did it, you no longer need to worry about it.

My own website charlesimagines.com is as easy as that, yet has all my work neatly laid out for people to see, and it took me just about two days to fully complete.

Amazon Page

Aha! An Amazon page is an author platform too! Make sure all your books are listed in your Author Central. If you have a blog, you can link it to your Author Central as well. Then in your GoodReads account make sure all your books are linked to your Amazon page, because often people write reviews and comment there.

This part is not difficult, and if you have some problems (like I did) just write them an email and they fix everything for you.

It’s a good time to mention that, Amazon has over 3000 different categories for your books, but you only get to see around 250 when you’re actually publishing. If there’s a specific category that you need (like mine was Young & Adult Pirate Adventure eBooks) then you’ll have to contact Amazon and they change it for you.

Reap the Benefits!

As a few final thoughts, I’ve only started using Twitter and adding things onto my website about five or six months ago and the benefits that came with it were enormous.  I was discovered by authors and readers, invited to do podcasts, got free book reviews on other people’s websites and most importantly… I emerged from the shadows and began connecting with people!

Book marketing is usually a slow and steady process that gets faster and faster the more you do it. I started off with numbers like 2, 5, 13 and some months later they turned into 900, 1500, 3000, and are still on their way up.

At first things might seem like they’re not working out, or you’ll get tired or you might feel like it’s a waste of time, but the longer you go on, the more the puzzle pieces start fitting together, and the more the grind seemed worth it.

My final tiny advice that I wish to share applies to anything and is based around the principal of ‘compound effect’. Much like going to the gym or eating healthy, it’s about doing something small every day. This gets multiplied by hundreds of days, and the effects become massive.

This was the case with me; my first books back in 2011-2012 kept bringing me paychecks (despite the books being clearly written by a teenager) and then the books that followed were stranded in a desert with no activity. I was left wondering what was going on and what I had to do to make it work again, and ended up committing a huge portion of my time to learning on promoting and marketing.

I had to change my old fashioned book covers, market in different places, create better keywords, and I started seeing my numbers grow again. As of recently, the author platform I built has greatly helped!

How do you discover your next books to read?

Tips 4 Young Women by L. Sealey + Podcast: J.L. Harland + Rebloom

Blog post title over photo of author Lindsay Sealey.
Author Lindsay Sealey.
Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.

The author of today’s guest blog post came to me through a publicist’s email inquiry. Normally I click those into my spam folder, sometimes lob them to the government’s official email (phishing-report at us-cert dot gov — moreover, I forward text spam to 772-6 along with their phone numbers copied and pasted). In a weird way, though, these types of solicitation validate me as an author!

This once I decided to see what sort of guest blog post they’d send me. Mind you, no $$ exchanged hands.

“What the heck am I doing” rumbled through my mind as I interacted with the publicist, who kept her client out of the picture. There was a flurry of emails from the publicist, her ticking off a checklist of who among her staff would contact me, send appropriately sized images (see my guest blog posting guidelines), etc. She ignored my inquiries about the PR process, even my invite for her to submit a guest blog post of her own about it.

It felt odd to not interact at least a little with the author. Nonetheless, to the author’s and the publicist’s credit, here’s her article, which the publicist assured me wasn’t ghostwritten.

I can read your mind! Ohmmmm… You want to know why I published it, no?

Whelp, because like me, many of you are writers, lots of us searching how to a) get our books finished, b) get them out there, and c) sell zillions of them.

As a reader and/or blogger and/or book writer, how do you feel about blog posts funneled through publicists?

What follows is advice I need as much as the author’s intended young women. Maybe you, too? As she advises, break down our projects, build on that, etc. Sounds great to me!

Recently, I started writing in a productivity journal. There are many to choose from. Before you poo-poo positive thinking and affirmations, as cynical moi could do in a heartbeat, I’ve blogged before about how the queen of science-fiction writing, Octavia Butler, relied on them heavily.

Fear and Dread come naturally (such are the brain-grooves that result from a gaslit upbringing) and can easily paralyze me unless I’m vigilant. Hard even for me to believe, cancer helped me with them, as I’ve written about before.

In essence, this journal begins with instructions and inspiration. Then it invites participants to spend a few minutes each morning and night to answer a handful of questions.

A British author whose name I can’t remember anymore, once commented on the radio of how charming Americans, we with our childlike insistence that all it takes is confidence to achieve anything. Brits, she said, know better.

What do you think of that? For me, there’s got to be muscle involved, a lot more than mere intention. Granted, mucho luck too. Summer comes late in Los Angeles, so I’ll blame the current brain-stunting muggy heat for getting me off-topic. Among my non-virtual frieds — I mean friends, I’m the .001% who eschews air-conditioning. We all do what we can (I hope), so count not partaking of a/c as my kiss to Mother Earth.

Back to today’s guest. Speaker, educator, and consultant Lindsay Sealey, MA Ed, is based out of Vancouver, Canada. Check out her website for info on her writings on how girls, boys, and parents can become their best selves. Most recently, she’s pursuing mind-body lifestyle research, like in this video at her Youtube channel.

Cover of Made for More, by Lindsay Sealey.

5 Ways to Help Young Women Overcome Super Girl Syndrome by Lindsay Sealey, MA Ed

Do you know what I see when I look at the young women I coach? Talent. Skill. Intelligence. Care. Passion. Hard work. Motivation. Ambition. They want to be good, feel good, do good, and make a difference in the world.

Yet, they often do not see any of these attributes in themselves. What do they see? They see how they aren’t keeping up; they fear they are missing out; they feel they are not doing enough; they believe they are not good enough. So, they either try harder, pushing beyond their own boundaries, striving for a little more “perfect”, and punishing themselves with harsh criticism. Or they do nothing, resigning to the idea that if they can’t be exceptional, why bother trying. They play the comparison game, and they lose every single time. 

I call this super girl syndrome and it’s holding our young women back from inherent true greatness and power. Super girl syndrome is a way of being, often learned from strong and pervasive societal messages for growing girls to be “everything” and to “do it all”. Yes, the intention behind girl power is fantastic. We want our girls to feel they can dream big and design a full and fulfilling life without limits or limitations. It’s true this generation of young women – Gen Z – have more choices and can take more chances than any previous generation. They may have no glass ceilings and they know the sky’s the limit. The problem is that as the world tells them “You can do anything”, they interpret this as “I have to do everything”. “Everything” is a tremendous amount of pressure!

It’s no wonder girls’ mental health concerns are on the rise. They are more stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed than ever. They can feel exhausted, deflated, discouraged, and sometimes even defeated. They can choose to give in and give up. 

As I work with girls, I’ve learned to explain to them that while they can do everything and I encourage them to be both multi-passionate and multi-talented, they don’t need to do it all in a day, but they do need to do something every day. In fact, I teach them how to remove the pressure from their shoulders, take off their super woman cape, and make an action plan to support their growth, taking one step at a time.

Here are 5 ways to help any young woman overcome super girl tendencies to design her days and become her boldest brightest self: 

  1. Let go of the ideal of perfection. We all know “there is no such thing as perfect”. Instead of pushing for an unrealistic ideal that doesn’t even exist, encourage her to embrace progress instead. If perfect is striving for more and more with the accompanying self-cruelty, without any self-compassion or recognition of effort, progress offers her the upside of goals and achievements with the built-in beauty of acceptance and appreciation of where she’s at and where’s she going! Help her focus on the daily wins that come with progress.
  2. Embrace “perfectly imperfect”. Imperfect could be the new perfect. Why? Imperfect is real. Accepting flaws, flops, and failures not only removes pressure to prove or be perfect but adds the authenticity she may be longing for. Imperfect means she makes mistakes, and she is confident enough to learn and grow. She makes errors because she’s human, not broken. She makes mistakes because she’s learning, not incompetent. She falls because she’s trying. If we can help girls see that imperfect benefits them more than any self-imposed high standard, I’m convinced, they’ll be able to flourish and fly. 
  3. Turn from procrastination toward action. Procrastination often comes from the fear of not being enough. So, flip the script. Enough can be rewritten as one step is enough. And little by little, small steps become great changes. She doesn’t have to do it all in a day. She can do one thing a day. Whatever big task or idea is on her mind or on her plate, help her do just one thing towards her goal. This could be one question, one action, one organized area, one page to read, one favour to ask, one YouTube video to watch or one podcast to listen to or book to peruse. If she likes the idea of just one, challenge her with just one hour of effort. She chooses when in her day and what she wants to focus her energy on. And for one focused and intentional hour she rolls up her sleeves and she works. The power of just one – step or hour – is a game changer as she creates her own momentum and often gains the energy she needs to keep going. 
  4. Stop comparing. Social media encourages us to compare our progress with others. Girls often feel they aren’t doing enough, they aren’t keeping up, and they are falling behind. Why? Because they are constantly seeing perfected and polished pictures of what other people are doing without the benefit of seeing the struggles and striving. They conclude everyone is doing more than them, better than them, and must feel happier than they do. Comparisons can help girls gauge where they stand in terms of their growth. Comparisons can also be sources of inspiration. Yet, girls need to trade in constant comparisons to others or even to themselves by choosing to measure their growth to their goals – only. Encourage these questions for self-reflection to steer her away from comparing herself to peers. How am I doing? What’s next for me? What am I most proud of? What changes do I want to keep working on and what changes do I want to add? What am I most looking forward to doing or becoming?
  5. Celebrate progress. Do you know what most young women are terrible at? Taking compliments, giving themselves credit, and celebrating. They often feel taking time to give themselves recognition for their perseverance, determination, and success is conceited, undeserved, and unnecessary. Of course, this is not true. Without time to embrace all they’ve done and what they’ve accomplished, how do they truly know their self-worth and how can feel good about the connection between hard work and outcome? Simple. They can’t. Celebrating doesn’t have to be big – she can high five herself or take 5 minutes to bullet her wins for the week in her journal. Celebrating doesn’t have to be public – like throwing herself a big party. She may opt for lunch with a friend or a date with herself. Celebrating does have to happen. When girls can take time to notice and validate who they are and what they’ve done, they no longer need the stamp of approval from others. 

I see so much goodness and so much potential in young and growing women. I know we need to help then see this in themselves. And one of the ways to get started is by helping them remove the pressure of being super girls to become their most true and powerful selves!

Does over-doing ever bog you down?

Blog and Pod Tricks + Podcast: Dwayne Sharpe’s Sci-Fi

Want to listen to a podcast/audio version of Happiness Between Tails? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.
Photo of K-D-doggie giving da-AL a sloppy kiss.

1. Getting the word out about Happiness Between Tails Podcast takes time away from writing my novels. Rather than worry I’ll never get my books done, I remind myself this stretch of learning is an investment for when I’m ready to produce serialized audio drama versions for the novels.

To that end, it occurred to me — duh, after all this time lol — that while Happiness Between Tails is meant to be a play on “tales” as well as “tails,” only the wag-able kind is represented in this site’s photo. A few days ago, I was feeling rather under-the-weather pasty, but hey, my hair was clean and brushed. Time to set aside excuses and dust off the selfie stick. The new masthead and the photo below are the results. The books? There’s a pile of them on my lap, but they kept sliding, so the book stamped onto my shirt must suffice.

2. Do you have business cards? Does anyone use them? I dunno, but it seems like the thing to have “just in case” if one is to be in business, so here’s mine. The two versions are because I discovered sites like t-h-i-s o-n-e that offer free QR codes. Who knew COVID would bring them back in style?

Screenshot of da-AL's business cards.

3. Podcasting and some lingo: It’s one thing to have a hosting site, like AnchorFM, where one’s podcast lives. “Directories” are also needed to get it into listeners’ smartphones and desktops of various operating systems, and such. For weeks I’ve researched “directories,” among them Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pandora, and so on — they’re the apps and sites that catalog and feature podcasts.

It would be impossible to get onto all the zillions that exist, so I just did my best and now I’m done, at least for now. Take a look at the list, not merely for to know where to listen, but to copy for when you submit your own podcast to directories.

The extended list of directories and other pertinent links are H-E-R-E at Linktree. It’s a site where, among other things, multiple links can be simultaneously funneled into a “master link.” A click of the screenshot below will also take you there…

Screenshot of Happiness Between Tails at LinkTree.
All Happiness Between Tails links are listed and scroll-tap-click-able at LinkTree.

Time-saving Linktree tip: before adding links there, first organize them in another document. Then drop them into Linktree starting with the last one. The last one loaded lands at the top.

Back to today’s podcast — here’s a video version of it…

Dwayne Sharpe submitted the story when Los Angeles was first quarantined, so… 

When you first heard about COVID, how did you think your life would be impacted?

Blog Tips, Free Mind Body Apps, 1st Youtube Ever by da-AL

Juggling writing my novels, blogging, and daily life is a huge challenge. This week I (sort of) chunked the task of researching the business end of blogging. That voyage into Google-ville unearthed a meandering myriad of fascinating stuff worth sharing with you…

This Aboriginal woman of Australia’s NPY region may be listening to Smiling Mind’s free meditation app in English or Pitjantjatjara or Ngaanyatjarra!

Blogging: In most any timezone, folks check their social media on weekdays, around lunchtime. According to these statistics gathered by Sprout Social, most of us bloggers are wisest to post mid-week, mid-morning. Forget about posting on weekends.

Social media: Trendwatchers at Pew Research Center report that everyone everywhere is increasing their social media engagement. Among all ages, Facebook is used most and most frequently, with Youtube gaining behind them.

Mind: “The greatest gift you can give to people is your full attention,” according to the Australian guy on Smiling Mind. Meditation, mindfulness, stress relief, call it what you will — everyone tells us we need it. Smiling Mind coaches us to do just that, in English and even in Aboriginal languages! — no credit card required to upload it and use its free version indefinitely!

Body: Mindfulness can help us stay fit — MyFitnessPal tracks and calculates our eating, nutrition, and activity. No credit card required to use its gratis edition forever.

1st YouTube: Ever wonder about it? Ta-da! Here it is, originally uploaded on April 23, 2005…

Anti-Viral Dog: Crisis brings out the worst — and the best! — in us, like how whoever kindly made this video wanted us to smile…

What are your best blogging hacks and fave truly free apps?

How to Get Your Book in Libraries by The Library Ladies: a Reblog

The Library Ladies website blog logo of a bookshelf with books on it.

Self-publishers must do everything — and figure out h-o-w to do everything. Do you have your book in a library? Fortunately, Kate, a Minnesota public librarian and half of the blogging team at The Library Ladies, offers some advice…

The Library Ladies

We here at The Library Ladies are occasionally approached by readers with questions and suggestions about things that we could write about on this blog. While it’s true that reviews and reader’s advisory are some of the main points that we like to make here, we also try to keep up with current trends in the library world. Something that is becoming more and more prevalent within literary circles and realities is the concept of self publishing. Some authors decide to take the route of publishing and promoting their work on their own, and with more and more services cropping up it is becoming more and more common. One question raised is how do libraries factor into this newish trend? How can self-published authors get their books into libraries?

Okay, honesty time! I am neither a cataloger or a selector at the library that I work for, so this is…

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