Hair Coloring 4 Men and All + Pod10 What’s Ableism? by Wheelchair Teen

Ableism: Discrimination Against Disabled People by The Wheelchair Teen Happiness Between Tails

#Ableism #Disability #Teens #Blogging #Girls #Black #Media #InspirationPorn Inspiration porn: How much do you know about real, everyday people with disabilities? Do you see them praised for doing basically nothing? What do you think about media depictions of disabled people? Comment at HappinessBetweenTails.com — or email me. buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT Time Stamps (where segments begin): HBT introduction Today’s topic and about today’s guest 1:05 Ableism: Discrimination Against Disabled People by The Wheelchair Teen 1:55 My question for you 12:50 HBT outro Links referred to in this episode: Happiness Between Tails blog post for this episode. The Wheelchair Teen – My life as a black, disabled teenager. The Wheelchair Teen’s research citation Photos available at the blog version of this show: The Wheelchair Teen in her wheelchair, her wheels, giving a presentation about disabilities to children at a primary school, with her hand over her mouth and the words: “Stop stifling disabled voices in media” on them, and The Disabled Teen having fun in front of a carnival wall. Artwork for a disabled character she created for a comic. — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/depe9/support

Click H-E-R-E for my new podcast page at AnchorFM. This week’s episode is the audio version to the blog post of “Ableism: Discrimination Against Disabled People by The Wheelchair Teen.”

At the Happiness Between Tails podcast page, you’ll also find links to subscribe, hear, and share it via most any platform, from Spotifyand Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is at LinkTree.

Strong + flexible + tough + soft = healthy looking hair.

NOTE: you can also listen to the audio/podcast version of what follows.) 

A dear friend recently complimented me on my hair and requested I do a blog post on hair coloring for men. I’m not a man and my husband doesn’t die his hair, but hair is hair, right? And after all, any novelist (here’s more about the books I’m working on) worth their salt can imagine, no?

In my late teens, I hated my straight hair so much that I permed it. When my hair turned into something that looked like a cheap wig, I spent the next 10 years trying to fix it with chemical treatments that all looked like hell, hell, and more hell.

Enter color! It took a while to get the hang of, but when at long last I did, my hair became something other than either limp and greasy or fried and broken. Henna in particular gives it body and shine, and nourishes the hair and scalp.

Regardless of the type of hair, the way to avoid breakage and dullness is to steer clear of toxic chemicals (I try not to put anything on my scalp and skin that would kill me if I ate it) and heat. That means keeping to a minimum stuff like hairdryers and products with strong chemicals (the scalp takes in whatever we put on it almost as readily as our mouth membrane), including ammonia, peroxide, and alcohol. Sprays of any kind are iffy because they usually include alcohol. Moreover, they’re not so great for the lungs.

Buyer beware: “natural” doesn’t always mean what it should, so read the ingredients. This beauty site lists a bunch of places where you can analyze beauty products. Products don’t have to be pricey to be healthy.

Scalp and root care are as important as hair care. Our scalps easily absorb whatever we apply. Don’t over-stress follicles with excessive massaging and brushing.

  • Hair is weakest and stretchiest when it’s wet, so gently comb it with a wide-toothed comb. If it’s too tangly to manage, detangling sprays can help.
  • Warm to cool water, not hot, helps immensely. Think fluffy wintry cats and dogs, versus short haired ones that live in hotter climes.

Many men, of course at all, have shorter hair. If one ruins short hair, it grows out relatively quickly. Keep in mind that the longer one’s hair is, the more pummeling it gets when mistreated.

Hair Repair: Olive Oil

Lots of oils and conditioners are out there, but olive oil works wonders for me. Once a week or so, first thing in the morning, I don grubby clothes that I don’t mind getting stained, slather it on, then I go about my business (as long as it’s not the kind of business where I need to look presentable) for a couple of hours. It soaks in while I eat breakfast, write, clean my house, and talk on the phone. Then I shampoo it out.

Conditioner is also great for mending hair and can be used in place of shampoo.

Dyes in General

  • What color to choose if you want to stay close to natural and are only covering grays or roots? To avoid looking artificial, first try a shade slightly lighter than your darkest strands. It’s easier and gentler to hair to darker over a mistakes than it is to go lighter, which is quite involved and can be damaging.

Everything requires gloves. Get any on your fingernails and be prepared to have to grow that tint out. Try to keep as much of them off your hairline so you don’t stain your face (some dyes stain worse than others). Many people apply a thick oil like vaseline to prevent their foreheads from getting marked.

I’ve dabbled with semi-permanent and permanent dyes. Again, read their ingredients or you’ll wind up with awful hair. Application for both is the usually same, always marked on their boxes: in a nutshell, leave it on for roughly 20 minutes, then wash it out.

Coloring: Root Touchups

These are meant more for covering what shows, i.e. temples and where you part your hair. They wash out immediately and come in many forms: sprays, crayons, powders, and mascaras. Check customer reviews so you don’t wind up one that rubs off onto hands and pillow cases.

Spray: A dear one recently mentioned they were wearing a spray. Even after they showed me, I couldn’t tell at all!

Semi-Permanent Dye

These are less likely to include harsh ingredients like ammonia, though read the ingredients. Depending on brand, color, and frequency used, they wash out in anywhere from a week to a couple of months. As a result, it’s easier to go back to natural, if that’s what you want. They fade gradually, as opposed to needing to be grown out, and the contrast between dyed hair and undyed roots is lessened.

By the way, semi-permanent tints also come as “coloring shampoos.” For the sake of this post, I tried two. Neither deposited any color I could see, though maybe it was just the type of hair I have? Worse, though, the one supposedly for men and with added conditioner made my scalp burn. When I shampooed the following day, after doing my best the following morning to make up for the abuse by applying olive oil and letting it sink in for several hours, there were quite a few more hairs than usual in my drain.

** NOTE: anything that results in hair loss and/or the sensation of burning and/or itching are to be avoided at all costs. Remember, scalp health is paramount.

Permanent Dyes

These last longer, but depending on the brand (read the ingredients), they’re harder on the hair. Also, growing them out involves sporting the zebra look.

Natural Dyes: What I Use

Basic henna is what I use. Henna, a.k.a. lawsonia inermis, is powdered tree leaves. It’s cheap and I have yet to find that one brand is superior to another, so don’t be fooled by the expensive varieties. You can buy it by the box at most Indian and International grocery stores, or online in bigger bags, like I do.

If the package of henna doesn’t say only “natural henna” and lists a variety of colors, it has other stuff added to it. Beware that often those are as chemical-laden as commercial dyes.

Bulk packages of cream of tartar, indigo, and henna can save you a lot of money.

Basic henna (which Wiki defines here) is a greenish powder that dyes coppery and translucent, meaning it shows the color of the hair beneath it, same as water colors reveal the color of papers they’re applied to. They stain coppery orange, as you can see at this site. The lighter the hair, the brighter the result. To tone down the orangy red, I continually experiment with adding stuff to it, which I’ll get to later.

It helps to keep dying powders in recycled jars.

The more frequently henna is applied, the richer and more permanent the color deepens. Hairdressers often warn against using it, because it can’t be bleached out if you don’t like it, though you can apply a darker dye over it.

Photo of henna powder.
Henna powder is green but dyes reddish orange.

The night before, I mix henna powder with olive oil (or inexpensive natural conditioner) and water. For my length of hair, I use four ounces of henna, one cup of cool (not hot) water, and roughly 2 tablespoons of olive oil. (From what I’ve read, unrefrigerated henna keeps its dying strength up to 12 hours.)

The trick is to stir in whatever liquid incrementally, so you can add enough that it’s not overly thick and stop before it’s too runny. You’ll be leaving it on your hair for a couple of hours, so you don’t want it driving you crazy by running down your neck and spilling into your eyes. Conversely, you don’t want it so pasty that you can’t spread it down to your roots.

Cover it and let it sit overnight. The dye is said to be “released,” when it turns extra dark in places. The next morning, scrape the sides of whatever container you use and give everything an extra stir.

Henna paste in an iron pot.
Henna gets darker in an iron pot.

Using an iron pot darkens henna, which is why I use this one intended for Korean cookery. The plastic shower cap I later use on my head protects the charming wooden lid, even though I use this pot only for henna.

Photo of reused gloves, plastic wrap, clothes pins.
Reusable gloves, plastic wrap, clothes pins, and tape come in handy.

Henna Add-Ins

To help it take better hold, I stir in a bit of acid, like lemon juice vinegar, or cream of tartar, which I buy in bulk at a fraction of the cost of small grocery store shakers.

Photo of cream of tartar powder.
Cream of tartar added into henna helps the color to grab into hair.

Eucalyptus oil is said to stimulate hair growth. So are rosemary and thyme.

To offset the orange color, sometimes I add a couple tablespoons of cheap instant coffee granules (no need to waste the good stuff).

I haven’t tried it, but some people dye their hair simply by mixing instant coffee granules with conditioner, no henna, and letting that sink in.

Indigo

This greenish powder from indigo, that Wiki defines here, leaves dyes blue-black. It was used to color the first jeans. It’s great for dampening the reddish hue of henna.

Photo of indigo powder.
Indigo powder dyes blue-black.

Indigo requires 10-20 minutes to get wet, but if you wait a lot longer, it loses its coloring ability.

First thing the following morning, I heap a couple of mounded tablespoons of indigo into a separate container. Sometimes I just stir it directly into the henna, but I think it stains better with this extra step. Dyes stain, so using plastic containers, like clean empties from yogurt, is a great way to recycle.

Photo of indigo paste.
Indigo paste mixed with olive oil takes 10-20 minutes to set.

Applying the Henna Treatment

Wear something dark enough to not show stains and grubby enough to not bother you if it does stain.

In the bathroom, where I have enough mirrors to see the back of my head, I clothespin old bedsheets that I use as drop-cloths to prevent staining walls and floors. (Any messes that happen anyway are easily removed with a couple of drops of bleach.)

Photo of old sheets pinned around bathroom as drop cloths.
Old sheets make great drop cloths.

Dampening hair beforehand (I spray mine with a conditioning detangler) enables the henna to slide on easier and more thoroughly down the the roots.

Gloves on, I massage the henna into my scalp and through my hair. Then I cover it with the cheapest shower cap I can purchase in bulk. Wrapping keeps the henna moist and prevents brown smears on every wall I pass. For good measure, I tightly wrap a length of plastic wrap around my hairline and tape down the end to keep it from unraveling. With the protective film on, I continue to press the henna down to ensure it nourishes my scalp as it works.

Two hours or more later (I hear some people keep on henna overnight, though I haven’t tried it), after I’ve eaten breakfast, cleaned the house, done some writing, texted friends, etc., I’m ready to wash it out.

Rather than shampoo, I use conditioner, working it in and rinsing it twice, similar to how I use shampoo. For the sake of conditioning, though, I let the second application soak for several minutes. Then I rinse it in cool water until the water runs clear.

Use a darker towel to dry your hair, so you don’t have to worry about stains.

If you can help it, don’t shampoo for at least a couple of days, for the color to intensify over time.

Comment or leave a question and I’ll use it to update this blog post.

27 Blog Tips + Borrowed Words by da-AL

Are you sprouting something new under your mask?

Are you sprouting something new under your mask?
Are you sprouting something new under your mask?

What do the following three things have in common?

  1. Grooming, or the lack of it.
  2. Words from other countries so unique yet essential, such as “schadenfreude,” that languages like English borrow them.
  3. Blogging tips.

What they all share is that they pertain to activities now common as a result of Covid sheltering-in-place and masking up.

With people staying closer to home, pajamas became workwear. In the case of hair, many people I know let theirs grow wild and long, whether on their scalp, faces, or legs. Others experimented in totally the opposite direction and now know how they look totally smooth-skinned. Some friends tinted rainbows into their manes and others did away with coloring altogether.

Are you sprouting something under your mask that you didn’t have before the need to mask up was a thing?

One friend’s working-from-home mustache was so cool that I had to grow one my own, albeit one I doctored up on the computer. Check out the photo of us sporting cookie dusters at the Happiness Between Tails blog post that corresponds with this podcast by typing “27 Blog Tips” into the search bar.

This friend's working-from-home mustache looks so cool! I had to grow one my own!
This friend’s working-from-home mustache looks so cool! I had to grow one my own!

Statistics indicate that the slower pace of staying home also reignited people’s love of reading and writing. In addition, Donald Trump’s presidential run boosted the word “schadenfreude” into everyday reading. It’s an English noun borrowed from two German words. “Schaden” means “harm,” and “freude” means “joy.” Combined into “schadenfreude,” they refer to the pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune.

When I discovered the word, I invited friends at my Facebook page to riff off of “Schadenfreude”…

Pam Christmas: I enjoy singing it to the tune of Danke Schoen, just like Wayne Newton did of “Schadenfreude, Darling, Schadenfreude” in this 1963 video. A favorite word and feeling.

Angela L Brown: Holy crap! Did that dude who keeps yelling about my dogs just get bit by his own?! Schadenfreude, sucka!

Stella B. Katz: Here’s a GREAT example (The Hill’s post: Hurricane Laura topples Confederate monument town had voted to keep”) of what Yuman is feeling. My Yuman will be experiencing Schadenfreude when Drumpf loses in November.

Chrys Mumma: I hope when I experience schadenfreude, that I recognize it as hateful.

Robb Fulcher: Carl Jung surpassing his former mentor gave me Sigmund Schadenfreude.

Tao Walker: I cannot help but have this feeling of schadenfreude over the Jerry Falwell Jr. scandal.

Bonnie Noble Pacego: Lily felt schadenfreude when she secretly found the loot the robber dropped as he fled the bank!

Beth Pottiger Gorman: The schadenfreude on Johnny’s face was obvious when he found the baseball someone else left lay.

Corky Anderson: Rump = Schadenfreude “joy at the misfortune of another.”

John Saffery’s link to Avenue Q singing Shadenfreude.

Carol Snyder Jarvela: I prefer the southern belle term “mean bitch thrill.” It’s easier to spell and is self-explanatory.

Peter Basson: Me and my friend, Sigmund, were very hot so we stood in the schadenfreude.

Susan Sobon: Trump is a master of schadenfreude.

Lastly, the onset of the Covid pandemic got people more involved in blogging, vlogging, and podcasting!

I listed some of what I’ve learned about blogging in a prior post. In no particular order, here are more tips I’ve gathered while working on my own blog and visiting other sites. Feel free to add your own insights in the comments section.

  1. Nothing detracts from a post as much as poor writing. The software that comes with a word processor isn’t enough. Fortunately, lots of useful apps like Grammarly have decent free versions.
  2. Reading aloud helps tremendously. Sometimes I even have my word processor read to me. That way, I can hear how my writing sounds without my own inflections.
  3. Finding an empty ‘about’ page feels like maybe there isn’t a real person managing the site. And when there’s no photo, I hope the blogger isn’t worried that their looks will frighten people.
  4. It doesn’t take much to keep a site’s background theme from looking cookie-cutter by adding photos and changing colors.
  5. Composing a post: sometimes WordPress leaves important messages in the right-hand column.
  6. Ideas are precious. I capture mine by texting myself or jotting them into the notes section of my smartphone.
  7. Before publishing a post, I check how it looks on a smartphone, desktop, and tablet. Sometimes I need to replace a photo and break up my text more.
  8. Dimensions for photos: Elle and Company Design has a very useful post.
  9. Featured photos: When it comes to selecting a featured photo for a post, always be sure to select one. Also, people who’re successful on social media always add text to their main pictures. Canva’s free version of their graphics editor does a great job.
  10. Workspace: clutter saps my creativity and efficiency. I try to keep only what I’m working on in front of me, and every night I tidy up.
  11. Sound: A fan, such as the one inside my compact space heater, is impressive at muting noise pollution.
  12. SEO, a.k.a. “search engine optimization”: to help get at the top of internet searches, use keywords in post headings and first sentences.
  13. Heading: again for SEO, keep them 65 characters or shorter.
  14. Categories: select less than ten.
  15. Tags: five is plenty. What’s most important is that your total categories and tags don’t number over fifteen.
  16. Visitors enjoy interacting with their fave bloggers. Ask readers to subscribe and share. End posts with something they can comment on.
  17. Invite visitors to look around your site by linking posts to other posts.
  18. Images: only use ones you have legal rights for (such ones you took or that are classified as royalty-free) and always credit where you got them from.
  19. Befriend other sites like yours — visit, comment, link, and meet their fans.
  20. Reblogs from someone else’s sites to yours are lovely — and even nicer when introduced with comments of your own. Add your thoughts when you click “reblog” or later within your site’s editor.
  21. Composing Posts: Begin them with a sense of where you’re going, and conclude them with a quick review.
  22. It takes time and care (a.k.a. love) to compose a blog post people will want to read and come back to.
  23. Good writing is all about rewriting. Let a post sit, then review it a couple of hours later or the next day.
  24. Continually study how to use social media more effectively.
  25. Hosting: Self-hosting works for some. In my case, I use WordPress.com, and find that having them host my site is inexpensive and easy.
  26. It’s never too early to start collecting an email list — ugh! — in my case, I’m learning this far too late, so I’m now researching how best to start mine.
  27. WordPress Editor: Frustrated by WordPress’ block editor? I still mostly use Classic and here I explain how.

Let me know how you like my first attempt at adding a poll…

 

What tips have you learned? If you’re using self-hosted WordPress dot org, do you have a way to get your posts listed on the WordPress Reader?