Category: Weddings

Videos: Party Kolkata Style + Valeska’s New Book + Podcast

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Titling over Rocky dancing and Valeska's new book cover.
Rocky’s dancing greatness and Valeska’s new book!

Party Kolkata Style + Valeska's New Book – Happiness Between Tails

#India #Writing #Authors #Dance #Travel How do you celebrate awesome news? Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions by recording them on Spotify for Podcasters page — or comment at HappinessBetweenTails.com — or email me. Like what you hear? Buy me a coffee. http://buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT See Kolkata dance videos at HappinessBetweenTaiils.com — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/depe9/support

Listen to posts at the Happiness Between Tails Podcast’s homepage at Spotify for Podcasters! Find links to subscribe, listen, and share episodes via most platforms; from Spotify and Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is at LinkTree.

I had a whole other idea for this week’s blog post — but surely there’s no better way to celebrate a day than to shake, rattle, and roll Kolkata style?!

More posts and podcasts about my visit to Kolkata here and here and here and here…

Work paused on my novel, Khashayar grabbed by the hand, he and I danced with glee to the music of the following short videos. They’re from cousin Giulia and Deep’s India-style wedding. Well-wishers from near and far kicked off days of parties and ceremonies. (Longer videos to come in future posts.)

I don’t think I ever laughed so much in one night in my life! Giulia and Deep hoofed it to the right of Khashayar…

Despite abundant food and drink, I doubt anyone left the dance floor for more than a minute at a time. Not with Paresh (in black t-shirt and jacket) livening the stage!…

For anyone who hadn’t polished their Kolkata-wood moves — hang on, turns out the proper term is Tollywood — Rocky was there to lead the way…

Guests also gave encouraging speeches, sang songs, and we did an impromptu Argentine tango…

Hey — let’s dance to Valeska Réon’s happy new too! She’s guested at Happiness Between Tails here and I first expressed my admiration of her here. An author since 1997, she’s published fifteen books, from crime and thriller novels to health guides. With her dogs Maya and Indie, she lives in Dortmund, Germany and plans to relocate to Berlin.

Her first historical novel, which she plans to publish in the United States, is already doing well…

Writer Valeska Réon with Maya and Indie in front of Mont Saint Michel, where they did on-site research for her history novel about Anne de Bretagne.
Writer Valeska Réon with Maya and Indie in front of Mont Saint Michel, where they did on-site research for her history novel about Anne de Bretagne.

“Forbidden Promises: the first German book about Queen Anne of Brittany” by Valeska Réon

I got the idea for this novel from my Maastricht thriller ‘Der Bibelkiller’ (about a serial killer who terrifies the citizens of Maastricht with his bizarre murders), where it is mentioned in a subplot. Here’s a post about that here.

This then inspired me to dedicate a novel of its own to Anne of Brittany (1477 – 1514).

It is the first German book about her; for the publication in Germany this was an all-important feature.

It seemed rather strange that such an interesting historical figure living in a time of world transforming change, bringing with it the values of the early modern period (Renaissance), had gone ignored by German authors. Until her death, Anne was the Duchess of Brittany and through her three marriages also Queen of France not one, but two times, holding the titles of Archduchess of Austria, Queen of Sicily and Jerusalem and Duchess of Milan at the same time. She was a devoted patron of the arts and initiated for the first illustrated children’s book to be written. 

While history books tend to portray a favourable image of Anne’s second husband, King Charles VIII, another viewpoint can also be explored; King Charles VIII was a foolish ruler who was more interested in pursuing women’s skirts than paying attention to his own wife, or the country he should rule. From a venture in Italy, he and his men spread syphilis throughout Europe, and by the time of his death his court had not contributed in any form to the spiritual or artistic wave sweeping Europe. For a well-educated and enlightened woman like Anne this must have been nothing short of torture. The point of the death of King Charles VIII is the perfect moment to include a twist into the story. 

I make use of my imagination and introduce a knight of the Order of Michael, Jean de Thyberon, into Anne’s life. Historical realism and fiction are walking hand in hand. Jean accompanies Anne over several years. Respect grows into careful affection, and with time more begins to bloom between the two.

As King Charles’s deadly accident in castle Amboise includes several historically incongruent accounts, the authors use the quirks of history to create some rumours and suspense between the lines. Charles was a man of small stature and died of an aneurism which resulted from him hitting his head against a door frame. How likely does it feel that something like this was just a coincidence? The Order of Michael was under his command, and so the Knight of the Order Jean de Thyberon is called to investigate the cause of death. With time he becomes Anne’s consultant, then a good friend and finally the man whom she adores with all her heart. The problem is: a knight openly wooing the Queen is completely unthinkable.

There are still other strange events in the life of Anne of Brittany. From her eleven children only her daughters Claude and Renée survived. A tragic truth which made the authors question, what if those two had a father far removed from the fragile royal bloodlines? Could Jean de Thyberon have been the father?

And what if Jean advised her in the field of politics and helped to shape history as we know it without ever having been mentioned in any history book? 

In front of this background, the picture of the impeccable Queen is broken apart and a new light is cast on Anne the person, the woman, and the lover. 

For a gripping flow of the story, the viewpoints of Anne and Jean are mixed and told in first person. Through their unique feelings and experiences, the reader is close to the protagonists and all the events of the story. 

The perfect harmony of true history and exciting fiction create the pull of this novel. The reader is left to wonder, and maybe even hope, could it have really been like this?

Here you can see the long version of the book trailer:

The song you hear in the background, Violet et Noir, was written especially for this historical novel.

The book presentation started in January 2023 Berlin, and will continue at the Leipzig Book Fair in April; in May I will travel to Vienna and Salzburg to meet my Austrian readers in person. It is quite interesting that I am also invited to colloquia at universities with this book, because the plot is very interesting for students.

Currently we are looking for a publisher in the USA because we think that this bittersweet love story could appeal to American readers very much.

I’m already writing a new historical novel, this time about an English Queen about whom there is no book anywhere in the world. For this project I interweave the life story of the sovereign with a thriller plot.

The Blurb

France 1498: Anne of Brittany, Duchess of Brittany and Queen of France, has already gone through two marriages. She never met her first husband, King Maximilian I, as the marriage was arranged in her name. Her second husband, King Charles VIII, died under mysterious circumstances. All her six children have passed away. 

Having given up the hope and search for true love she meets Jean de Thyberon – knight of the Order of St Michael, and suddenly finds herself united with her soulmate. After only a few short months, Anne has to part ways with the educated and humorous man forever as protocol dictates that Anne has to marry King Louis XII.

‘I may not love you…’

… so the command hanging over their love like a sword of Damocles.

Photo of da-AL and Khashayar in front of their Norooz spread.
Happy Persian New Year to you from the two of us!

Don’t let not being Persian stop you from enjoying Norooz! More about how we celebrate Persian New Year here…

How do you celebrate a great day?

My Bridal Henna + The Henna Artist Alka Joshi w Podcast/Audio Ver.

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Want to listen to an audio version of today’s post? Click the Spotify podcast link above. And please give it a follow.
Photo of Alka Joshi, author of "The Henna Artist."

“When’s the last time you read something unapologetically pro-choice — and that’s as empowering as it is romantic? Me, never — until Joshi’s follow-up novel! Joshi’s enchanting story is set in 1950s India, a woman’s narrative about the choices she’s been doled and how much she makes with them. Moreover, the performer of the book’s audio version, Sneha Mathan, is marvelous!” ~ My review of The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi for Amazon and Goodreads.

I absolutely adore books (after all, I’m writing two)! Whenever I finish reading an exceptional novel, I review it on Goodreads and Amazon. Sure, not all stories resonate with me. As a tender-hearted author, I know too well the blood, sweat, and tears that even a crappy book demands, so I let other people review those. Afterward, I email the novelist to thank them for making my life more thoughtful and maybe even fun. Ditto for any audiobook performer involved. Some thank me back, and on the days my stars are aligned, they agree to contribute to Happiness Between Tails.

Anyone who doesn’t read The Henna Artist is missing out. Clearly it’s written by a generous spirit. Just glance through Alka’s website and Youtube channel, where she lauds other authors to the extent that she poses with their books, including Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic as she says how grateful she is for it. Btw, I love that book too!

Allow me to digress a moment: Henna, oh, henna, you magical green powder! You enhance my hair, and you make lovely temporary tattoos!…

Photo of da-AL's henna-tattooed hands.
The day before I got married, I went to Los Angeles’ Little India for these gorgeous henna tattoos.

The day before I got married, I drove to Los Angeles’ Little India for these gorgeous henna tattoos.

They’re far more forgiving than the permanent ink ones, and brides aren’t allowed to do housework until they’ve worn off…

Photo of my henna tattooed hands and feet.
I needed just the right sandals to show off my enhanced tootsies!

Dusting off my photos to show you these provided an excuse to reconnect with Chris Miller, the super-talented photographer (check out her Instagram too) who was beyond kind to gift them to my sweetie and me. Back when she shot them, we both worked for the Beach Reporter, a Manhattan Beach community weekly. I reported on Hermosa Beach while she worked as a private event photog and as the publication’s photojournalist.

Wedding party photo of Khashayar and da-AL.
It seems like yesterday when you’re having fun…

Back to our esteemed guest: Alka was born in Jodhpur, Rajasthan, India. At the age of nine, she moved to the United States. Eventually she graduated from Stanford University and worked in advertising, public relations, and owned a marketing consultancy. Moreover, she has a Creative Writing MFA from Cal Arts San Francisco. The Henna Artist is her first book. In less than a year, it’s a huge success! The sequel, The Secret Keeper of Jaipur, is set for July, plus the third book in the trilogy will come out in 2022. Above and beyond that, she’s an executive producer for the novel’s upcoming Miramax TV series! What follows are her thoughts on women in India. Note that when she speaks of how women, in this case architects, are often undermined, India is not the only country that restricts us. Unfortunately, I’ve met women architects in the United States who encounter discrimination here too…

The Sari vs. Modern India by Alka Joshi

In January 2019, the Architecture faculty at Ansal University in Gurgaon, just outside New Delhi, received an email from the registrar to attend a convocation.

Architecture faculty at Ansal University in Gurgaon's news bulletin board.

It requested formal dress: “trouser, coat and tie for men” and “saris for women.”

Students wear western clothes.

This sparked a lively, funny, albeit very polite, conversation on WhatsApp among the female faculty, who normally wear trousers, Western blouses/tops, or salwar kameez (long tunics with legging-like bottoms) most days.

“I may not wear a sari…I don’t even own one!” “I do not even know how to wear a sari.” “[I’m] not against saris. But at 7:30 in the morning, especially when I’m not used to it is definitely a challenge.” “Can’t tie one at 7am and drive…and get through the day!” “No sari. Impossible to wear and report at 7:30 in the morning.” “Why a sari at all?” “If the women must wear a sari, wouldn’t a *dhoti be more in sync for the men?”

*(Now mostly worn by village men, a dhoti is a white cloth from five to seven yards in length, wrapped loosely around the legs and tied in a knot at the waist. While dhotis have gone out of fashion, saris are still a mainstay of female couture for weddings, special occasions and family gatherings.)

This Adjunct Prof of Architecture chose to leave her sari (if she has one) at home.

“We are all sensible enough to know what to wear. Most of us might even have worn saris to the event without being asked. But when you tell us exactly what to wear, we are going to have something to say,” laughs Monisha Sharma, associate professor. “Our Dean, who is female, told us to just look as smart as we do every day, so that’s what we’ll do.”

Associate Professor Monisha Sharma prefers a salwar kameez over a sari when she’s teaching.

In addition to teaching in the Architecture school, these women are working architects. At construction sites they are often greeted with curious expressions: Can women really be architects? Are these women here to tell us what to do? One professor told me that she had organized a site visit to a factory for her students. When they got to the site, the founder only responded to the junior male faculty who had accompanied her, choosing not to acknowledge her at all.  Similarly, a female architect who was managing a project for her father’s structural engineering firm was not being consulted by the construction team until her father ordered them to talk only to her. She was, after all, the project manager and the only one who could answer their questions.

Architecture Professor in India.

To someone like me, who’s been raised in the West since the age of nine, it’s surprising that the women’s reaction is not anger (that would have been my response, along with bewilderment and confusion).  Instead, the Indian women laugh it off. “We have already made our mark in our profession,” they say. “We don’t need to hit them over the head with it.” At the convocation, the female faculty wore Western trouser suits. Not a sari in sight. There’s more than one way to make a statement.

Have you tried a henna tattoo?

Flamenco Fusion by da-AL

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“Flamenco & the Sitting Cat” is the title of the first of my soon-to-be self-published novels. The ‘Sitting Cat’ part of the title refers to the geographical shape of Iran…

Map of Iran out lined in shape of a Sitting Cat.
Map of Iran outlined in the shape of a Sitting Cat.

I grew up with only classical music — and flamenco music and dance. My father, who left Barcelona in his mid-20s, wanted it that way. Since I left home at 18, it’s a gift to watch any type of dance I like and to listen to every kind of music that comes my way.

Shahrokh Moshkin Ghalam respectfully and lovingly fuses dance cultures.
Shahrokh Moshkin Ghalam respectfully and lovingly fuses dance cultures.

I still love classical — and flamenco! Especially fascinating to me is when flamenco is fused with the dance of Iran, where my husband was raised. Shahrokh Moshkin Ghalam is an Iranian dancer now residing in France. Flamenco is as much about individuality as it is about technique — it accommodates all cultures, all forms of beauty.

If only politics were as intent on creating a climate of ‘we’ rather than an ‘us vs. them’!

The way Ghalam (click here for his Facebook page) fuses dance styles is respectful and hypnotic…

For more flamenco, check out Part 3: Marvelous Madrid — Flamenco

What fusion art do you enjoy?

Shipra’s Indian Wedding Guide for Girls: a few of my thoughts by da-AL

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Everyone should read Shipra’s imaginative fun packed blog. My fave of her posts:

Indian Wedding Guide for Girls
This post is my favorite example of Shipra’s wit and wisdom.

When I let her know how much I enjoyed it, here’s what developed:

I love how bloggers welcome each other so quickly.An interesting discussion had begun.This is what really got me to comparing our cultures.

As our discussion lingers in my mind, here’s some additional thoughts:

  • Real women speaking out everywhere, rather than merely famous ones, can only help everyone. That’s why blogs are wonderful!
  • Shipra’s description of Indian weddings, mothering, and stunted careers for women makes me grateful for my choices here in the U.S.
  • American weddings are often influenced by reality TV, sitcoms, and superstars, despite few of us being as prosperous we’re portrayed. Some weddings and marriages are traditional, while others are not. Some parents pressure for grandkids, others don’t. Either way, I don’t think parents have as much control over their kids as they do in other countries. For one thing, we’re too affluent to have to answer wholly to them. For another, our culture is too much about independence, even though more and more adult children are living with their parents longer.
  • Married, educated, working outside of the home — or not — women’s status in American still has a way to go. It’s decades since we won the right to choose whether to bring a child to term, yet today we’re forced to renew our fight to keep that right. Women earn only 77% of what men do. As ever, they do most of the childrearing, with little help from social programs.

Its easy to idealize other places when images are is filtered through politics and for-profit media. American researchers report that people elsewhere aren’t as lonely as us, that they’re happier, eat better and less, are trimmer, treat their elders better, and often live longer.

Los Angeles is a cultural kaleidoscope. When I travel abroad, it takes me a while to get acclimated to the lack of diverse people, home decors, and places to eat.

All the same, even with politics aside, immigrants have a tough time here. The more years they’re here, the less they have common with the folks they left behind. Their American-born kids grew up entirely different from them, and their grandkids all the more so.

Many immigrants complain that Americans aren’t into fun and socializing, that we work too many hours, that our families live too far apart, that youngsters are too materialistic. But those same people moved here to leave behind social and familial pressures, to set aside fun and socializing so they could earn lots of money.

As for career and motherhood, American women grapple with the same biological and career clocks as in India. To our advantage, while some parental pressure for grandkids is real, it’s usually not as intense as elsewhere. In my case, I feel fortunate that my personality side-stepped maternal pressures. I didn’t think I was cut out for motherhood until my happy marriage at age forty, when I fell for a man who does his best to be a fair partner. Since him, my attitude switched from, ‘kids aren’t for me,’ to, ‘if it happened, it happened.’

A good measure of this is thanks to the fact that, while I’m not wealthy, I’m not poor by American standards. For me, adoption has always be a viable option. It’s not appealing to me, though, when I consider how it usually involves politics and profiteering. Fertility procedures can involve shady business motives as well as physical risks. To my mind, parenthood is best left to the truly motivated.

Dear Reader, please feel free to join in the conversation.

Shipra’s blog.

Shipra’s post on Indian weddings.

National Organization of Women’s factsheet on U.S. women’s pay in comparison to that of American men.