Fear and You + Balenciaga by roijoyeux + Pod21: Caz’s Panic Rescue

Photo of Balenciaga's “Envelope dress”, 1967, with this blog post's title over it.
Balenciaga’s “Envelope dress”, 1967.

Pandemic Anxiety by da-AL + Panic Attack Rescue by Caz Happiness Between Tails

#Covid #PanicAttack #Panic #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Relaxation #Health Have you or anyone you know experienced anxiety or panic? What helped you or them? Caz, a London blogger who worked in mental health, gives her best tips for keeping our heads during these Covid times when anxiety can do us in… Do you or anyone you know suffer from anxiety and panic attacks? Caz, a London blogger who worked in mental health, gives her best tips for keeping our heads during these Covid times when anxiety can do us in… Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions by recording them on my Anchor by Spotify page — or comment at HappinessBetweenTails.com — or email me. Like what you hear? Buy me a coffee. buymeacoffee.com/SupportHBT Time Stamps (where segments begin): HBT introduction Today’s topic and about today’s guest 1:05 “How to manage panic attacks,” by Caz. Windup, links, a question for you. HBT outro Links used for the HBT blog post of this episode: Original blog post for this episode is H-E-R-E Find Caz' site H-E-R-E — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/depe9/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/depe9/support

Click H-E-R-E for my podcast page at AnchorFM. This week’s episode is the audio version of “Pandemic Anxiety by da-AL + Panic Attack Rescue by Cas” that you can read the text version of H-E-R-E.

At the Happiness Between Tails podcast page, you’ll also find links to subscribe, hear, and share it via most any platform, from Spotify and Apple Podcasts, to Google Podcasts and Pocket Casts, along with RadioPublic and Castbox and Stitcher and more, plus an RSS feed. The full list of 50+ places is H-E-R-E.

Marianne Williamson, activist/author of, "A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A COURSE IN MIRACLES." Photo by Supearnesh - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0
Marianne Williamson, activist/author of, “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A COURSE IN MIRACLES.” Photo by Supearnesh – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0

The following famous quote — which author/activist Marianne Williamson is proud of however zillion times it’s attributed to Nelson Mandela (H-E-R-E’s a post I wrote about him) — reminds me of how sneaky my fear of success can be.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

As a kid, I worried that setting myself apart would invite criticism, jealousy, and ostracism. Girls, I was told, must be cute and sweet so they’d be attractive to boys. Women, so it went, were destined to be wives and mothers, no more, no less.

Fears continue to gnaw at me. Now they’re sophisticated, requiring constant vigilance to upend them. Art begs an audience. When art is personal, it’s difficult to not give a damn what others might think, not to mention how wicked my own self-doubt (like when it comes to working on my novels-in-progress) can be. An hour after I was awarded an Emmy, a stranger asked me how the honor felt. My reply was blather. He reminded me that I had indeed won it…

Williamson is correct to point that that being our best benefits everyone. When I’m upset about my goals, I remind myself of her wise words.

Now for a blogger who does what he can to make sure none of us hold ourselves back…

Photo of blogger roijoyeux, his face hidden as he looks down at something he's writing.
Blogger roijoyeux.

roijoyeux, which according to Google Translate, means “King Joyful,” runs a blog by the same name. Growing up in South-Western France as a gay teenager, hearing schoolmates call other gay schoolmates “pédé” (“fag”) was a terrible thing. As a result, it was not easy to be proud of himself.

To help himself and others to be happier with themselves, ten years ago he created a blog that’s an encyclopedia of LGBT+ celebrities. To date, he’s written over 500 well-researched biographies!

He explains, “… many people are not aware that most gay men look and behave like straight men, my blog is useful for them and for my peers who have not yet realized that there is no reason to be ashamed. I know most people are not gay, but it feels great to know that so many great people are gay / lesbian. Learning and writing about their lives is one of my favorite hobbies.”

roijoyeux adds that over the decade he’s been posting, his site, “evolved very quickly in the blog you know today, showing to people that gays are not all drag queens, effeminates or perverts, since many great artists, stellar athletes and other admirable celebrities, are gay.”

Generous even at Happiness Between Tails, roijyeux quotes his role model…  “If their lives can serve as role models to young men who have been bullied or taught to think less of themselves for their sexual orientation, all the better. The sexual orientation of those featured here did not stand in the way of their achievements…” gayinfluence.blogspot.com Terry from Virginia, who describes himself as “A diehard sapiosexual with an ever-curious mind,” started that impressive site in 2011.

Here, with the help of Wikipedia and Gay Influence, he introduces us to one of his many heroes…

Balenciaga, right, with the love of his life, Vladzio Jaworowski d’Attainville.
Balenciaga, right, with the love of his life, Vladzio Jaworowski d’Attainville.

“Cristóbal Balenciaga, the King of the great couturiers, was… gay,” by roijoyeux

Cristóbal Balenciaga Eizaguirre, born January 21, 1895 in Getaria (Spanish Basque Country) and died March 23, 1972 in Xàbia (Spain) was a Spanish fashion designer and milliner.

Actress Audrey Hepburn wearing Balenciaga, and two standard poodles.
Actress Audrey Hepburn wearing Balenciaga, and a couple of furry friends!

He is one of the greatest couturiers, unanimously recognized by his peers and nicknamed “the master” or even “the couturier of couturiers.”

If Balenciaga began well before the Second World War, it was during the 1950s that he completely transformed the female silhouette, making it evolve to finally reach its peak in the early 1960s. Among his loyal customers were the Queens of Spain and Belgium, Princess Grace of Monaco and the Duchess of Windsor as well as Jacqueline “Jackie” Kennedy Onassis.

Photo of United States First Lady Jackie Kennedy wearing a Balenciaga gown 1961.
First United States Lady Jackie Kennedy wearing a Balenciaga gown 1961.

The fact that Jackie Kennedy bought Balenciaga’s overpriced dresses upset her husband President John F. Kennedy because he feared the American public would think his spending was too lavish. In the 1950s and 1960s, Dior dressed the rich, and Balenciaga, the very rich. It was said at that time that a woman “went up” from Dior to Balenciaga.

Below are the most interesting details about Balenciaga’s life…

Youth

Balenciaga, who left school to work for a local tailor at the age of 13, opened his first store in San Sebastian (Spain) at 19. At the age of 24, he already had his own fashion house, a house of which he then opened branches in Madrid and Barcelona, where more than 350 employees worked.

The Spanish royal family wore his creations, but the Spanish Civil War forced him to close his stores in 1931 and go into exile first in London and then in 1936 in Paris, where he opened a fashion house on Avenue George V in 1937. The success of his Parisian house was immediate. Customers even risked their lives by going to Paris in the middle of the Second World War to admire Balenciaga’s creations.

Homosexuality

In Paris, Balenciaga openly lived his homosexuality. It was in 1936 in the French capital that he met the love of his life, Wladzio Zawrorowski d’Attainville, a Franco-Polish aristocrat who was then working as a hatter. It was Wladzio who helped Balenciaga find the funds to open his Parisian couture house. Then he became his partner.

Unlike Balenciaga, who had the elegance and class of an aristocrat but was the son of a simple fisherman and a seamstress, Wladzio was a true aristocrat, whose intelligence and wisdom impressed Balenciaga. The two men moved into the same apartment together, where Balenciaga’s mother also lived.

Photo of Balenciaga, right, with design house co-founder Nicolas Bizcarrondo, and Vladzio Jaworowski d’Attainville and a kitten.
Balenciaga, right, with design house co-founder Nicolas Bizcarrondo, and Vladzio Jaworowski d’Attainville… and a kitten!

One of their employees, Elisa Erquiaga, explained in an interview: “Wladzio was extremely handsome and well-educated and we all knew [they were a couple], but no one ever talked about it in the house.”

The Franco-Polish man was the only person who managed to calm the anxieties of the Master, his lack of self-confidence and his obsessive search for perfection on, for example, a shoulder, a fabric, or how to elegantly hide the wide hips of [writer] Colette, one of his famous clients.

When Wladzio died in 1948, Balenciaga was so devastated that he considered closing his business for a time. He never recovered from the death of the love of his life and although he had homosexual affairs after Wladzio’s death, he never sought to find new love and became very secretive and almost withdrew from the world.

It was in 1968 that the couturier finally retired (at age 73).

Photo of Dovima, a fascinating pioneer supermodel, in Balenciaga, with Sacha the dog, photo by stellar photog Richard Avedon, 1955.
Dovima, a fascinating pioneer supermodel, in Balenciaga, with Sacha, photo by stellar photog Richard Avedon, 1955.

Death and posterity

When Balenciaga died in 1972, Women’s Wear Daily magazine wrote “The King is Dead”. He died very rich, owner of several houses and apartments in Paris, at La Reynerie near Orléans, as well as in Madrid, Barcelona and Iguelda, in his native Basque country.

According to the Gay and Lesbian Encyclopedia, the greatest gay couturiers of the 20th century are Balenciaga and Dior, followed by Yves Saint Laurent and Jean Paul Gaultier and in Italy Giorgio Armani and Giani Versace.

Balenciaga’s work influenced many couturiers, such as Oscar de la Renta, André Courrèges who worked in his studio, Emanuel Ungaro and Hubert de Givenchy whom he helped. The Balenciaga brand, which nowadays belongs to the French holding company Kering, is currently under the management of Demna Gvasalia, after the departure of Alexander Wang in 2015, who succeeded Nicolas Ghesquière in December 2012.

Are there ways you hold yourself back?

Transgender Visibility Day and Valeska Réon’s Multiple Lives

Rachel Crandall started Transgender Day of Visibility as a day of hope, back in 2009. Indeed it is this year! For the first time, a U.S. President, Joe Biden, issued a proclamation on it!

Here Rachel talks about the annual event…

Now is also a good excuse for an update on what Valeska Réon’s been up to since I wrote of her a while ago.

Valeska Réon has wonderful news!
Valeska Réon has wonderful news!

Her book, “Der Bibelkiller/The Bible Killer,” has a favorable opportunity to become a Netflix film. Here’s an interview with Valeska and director/actor/screen writer Nicolai Tegeler who will film it in Maastricht, Netherlands. If you, like me, don’t understand German, Google Translate does a terrific job.

Valeska Réon with director/actor/screen writer Nicolai Tegeler.
Valeska Réon with director/actor/screen writer Nicolai Tegeler.

In addition, her next book is set to published in less than a year. Already, Valeska is working to make it a Netflix miniseries. The historic novel features Anne of Brittany (1477-1514), the only woman who served twice as France’s queen consort (the most powerful sort of queen). Not just that, Anne was queen consort of Naples, and a duchess consort of Milan. All that and she died when she was only 34!

“Der Bibelkiller/The Bible Killer” by Valeska Réon.
“Der Bibelkiller/The Bible Killer” by Valeska Réon.

“The Multiple Lives of Author Valeska Réon” in her own words

When I started writing back in 1997, the world of literature was not like it is today. Self-publishing wasn’t yet invented, so you first had to find a publisher before the book could see the light of day. The Internet was still in its infancy in Germany, so you had to resort to traditional marketing strategies.

In 2012, after three non-fiction books on health and beauty, I took all my courage and wrote my autobiography, “Flowers for a Chameleon.” What happened next — I hadn’t expected that! Perhaps I should tell you that I was not born a woman, but had already worked as a model in Paris before the sex reassignment surgery. Always I was careful that nobody learned of my secret. 1985 was another time, and models like Andrej(a) Pejic and Lea T. did not exist. The reactions to my book were overwhelming, it sold very well, and a filmmaker contacted me to film it.

But above all, I became aware of one thing – as an author, you market yourself best when you are authentic. Due to my life story, I was suddenly in the focus of the German LBGT community, which I first had to deal with. Countless letters from my readers all had the same core message: “Thank you for giving us such courage with your book!”

Today #beyoubetrue is my favorite hashtag, and I use it not only on Instagram but also on my author portraits.

Valeska Réon wears her favorite hashtag.
Valeska Réon wears her favorite hashtag.

After that, I changed my genre to now writing thrillers –- and that’s when I had a new marketing idea. In my book, “Double Sacrifice,” the song, “J’aime tellement,” plays such an essential role that once I wrote the lyrics, I then found a singer/composer to set them to music. Finally, it was remixed and is now available for download –- a great compliment to the book.

My new thriller, “Walking on Sand,” is was rewritten into a stage play that premiered in Düsseldorf, December 2019. Another autobiographical story, this one is about the transsexual children’s book author Lea. After many years, she returns to her hometown to avenge the terrible things her classmates did to her. The children’s book mentioned within it, “Charlotte Inside,” is taken out of the crime plot and made into a book of its own. It is the first children‘s book ever to tell young readers about therapy with the inner child.

Valeska Réon lays on the sand, a watchtower in the background, with her dog.
What new creative adventure is Valeska Réon conjuring?

My greatest wish is for “Charlotte Inside” to appear internationally so it can bring joy and courage to children everywhere.

How many lives have you lived?

Antique and Vintage Photos by Val Erde

Val Erde’s sensitive and artful photo coloring truly brings history to life. Based in the U.K., she kindly contributes this for you to see…

Dog in garden before and after. Photo coloring by Val Erde

Antique and Vintage Photos by Val Erde

In the blog I used to have, I show the colouring work I do on my collection of antique and vintage photos. I’ve been an artist all my life and have been doing these photos since I had my first pc and graphics program. I usually colour photos of people, though I have a few that include dogs and cats, but this is the first in a long while that I’ve done just of a dog. I hadn’t intended to colour it, but well… look at it. Wasn’t it barking calling out for colour? Or, more likely, food.

“Please give me a treat. Anything will do, really. Maybe something you’re eating? I like your food. I like everyone’s food.”

I haven’t a dog so have to rely on photos for colour references and as I don’t know what breed it is, I’m not sure I got this one right. I suspect it’s a bit of lots of different things. Well, doggy things, anyway.

So… any ideas what sort of dog it is? And – the dog aside, can you by any chance identify the flowers to the right? The ones on the left are roses, that I know, but the rest – what the heck are they? To me the blossoms look like Cosmos, but the leaves are wrong. Anyway, to be safe, I coloured the innards yellow and the outtards (yes, I know) varying shades of pink. But they could be anything really.

There’s more to do on this photo but I decided to call it a day. Well, actually, I’ve called it a dog.

My thanks to Da-AL for inviting me to guest blog!

What kind of dog is this?

How to Photograph a Dog?

4 headshot photos of da-AL with her labrador pit bull mix dog

I mean where she faces the camera but doesn’t look like you’re choking her (which I sort of am in these because she’d much prefer to chase birds and cats across the street than be a model).

2 full body photos of da-AL with her labrador pit bull mix dog on brick porch steps

A kind reader lamented that she wanted to see more blog posts by me. Though now I feel sort of like a narcissist, that made me think that maybe other readers might feel the same way, so here’re some photos of one of my beloved dogs. I wanted to show her to you on my newly revised site, but the dear girl wasn’t having it.

Have you had luck shooting great eye-ball-to-lens pictures of your pets?…

Sneak Preview of My Friend’s Art Show by da-AL

Be a model with me on April 16!

Here I’m goofing off while my fine artist friend Connie DK Lane fits some of her designs for her upcoming show, “Bravura.” Too shy to model? Visit us anyway. Connie’s art will be displayed the entire week.

Bravura” in Connie’s exact words: A large number of hand-made anthropomorphic forms made out of latex rubber, a simulation of apparels for all genders, will be displayed throughout the window case, from support devices, ceiling, and walls. The opening on April 16 will feature a live fashion show where students and audience members are invited to model the unique latex clothing forms and walk within the window passageway.

When: Opening show April 16, art exhibit runs through to April 20, 2018

Reception: April 16, 4-6pm — performance at 5pm

Where: Cerritos College Fine Arts, 11110 Alondra Blvd., Norwalk, CA 90650

Parking: $2 on-site for entire day.

Here’s an installation she did to honor lives lost to COVID-19 here, here’s the first post about Bravura Here’s one about one of Connie’s previous shows and here’s Connie’s website.

Here’s when the show took place!

My Friend’s Art Show by da-AL

Art lovers — join me at artist Connie DK Lane’s show, “Bravura.” She’s asked me to be one of her models. You can be one too!

Bravura” in Connie’s exact words: A large number of hand-made anthropomorphic forms made out of latex rubber, a simulation of apparels for all genders, will be displayed throughout the window case, from support devices, ceiling, and walls. The opening on April 16 will feature a live fashion show where students and audience members are invited to model the unique latex clothing forms and walk within the window passageway.

When: Opening show April 16, art exhibited until April 20, 2018

Reception: April 16, 4-6pm — performance at 5pm

Where: Cerritos College Fine Arts, 11110 Alondra Blvd., Norwalk, CA 90650

Parking: $2 on-site for entire day.

Here’s an installation she did to honor lives lost to COVID-19 here, here’s a previous post about Connie’s art and here’s her website.

Here’s  the pre-show ‘getting ready’ post. Here’s the performance.

Be Your Own Best Role Model – & – Guest Blog Post: “Learning to make homes,” in Elizabeth Semende’s exact words

Thank you, Ryan McGuire.

Role models can be great. They provide wisdom for how to get where we’d like to be.

Take care, though.

In our eagerness, we risk blindness and deafness to how sometimes they’re better examples of what not to do. Of the ones we love, those who are closest to us, their familiarity can feel like normalcy.

The amazing poem posted by afroliz of Zimbabwe that follows illustrates what I’m trying to say.

I believe we must all continually work to be our own best role models. Let us be lighthearted in working toward that goal. Let us be as serious as happiness when it comes to understanding which role models we might already have unwittingly chosen.

flowers and poems 🌼

In these places where women come to die

My mother’s words take turns to hit my ears:

“When you find a man, carve a home beneath his pride and

learn to make homes from nothing.”
Then I screamed: Mother this is not my home!

This is not a home!

It carries the weight of a man’s pride

the same way corpses carry the weight of tombstones​

In silence.

Mother did not listen.
She too found a home

In these places where nothing remains

but a swam of men urinating on the flame of our souls

She said: that is how we make homes out of nothing

By carrying the weight of a man’s pride

In silence.

© Elizabeth Semende

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Guest Blog Post: “Who’s Perfect?” a video via David Kanigan

Still from "Because Who is Perfect?" video
Still from “Because Who is Perfect?” video

Who’s attractive? What’s chic? Always it’s a good time to embrace our humanity and our uniqueness — but now is better than ever. Hoping Kanigan’s post makes you smile like it did me …

Live & Learn


Thank you Susan

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