NOTE: Here’s the audio version of Abortion: My Story.
In posts and comments here and elsewhere, I often mention the importance of blogging, how delighted I am that social media and our freely commenting allow us to become closer to each other. The simpler it is for people to express themselves into the ethers, the smaller our the world becomes. When we speak from our hearts and personal experience, we see we all need each other and that every single one of us linked in doing our best to get by each day.
All that, and still I left out a vital bit of my own story last time. In that post, “My Jury Duty Pt 1 + Infidel753 Works for Justice and Freedom to Choose,” guest blogger Infidel753 told of his experience as a volunteer for an abortion clinic. Your comments to that story have lent me the courage to tell my own story. As a “pro-choice escort,” Infidel753 described how he navigated women past the intimidation efforts of anti-choicers. As a result, some readers were inspired shared their views on abortion rights. (By the way, My Jury Duty Pt 3 is here.)
In my mid-20s, I terminated two pregnancies. That same year, I got pregnant twice, each time using different forms of birth control. At the time, I’d been living with a boyfriend since I was 18. He was a sweet, intelligent man who I loved dearly.
We were surviving on sporadic work, earning hardly above minimum wage. For that and many more reasons, I didn’t feel I could provide any child with a decent upbringing.
Abortions were expensive, and weren’t covered by my job’s health insurance. Each procedure was a physical ordeal of pain and then high fevers. I had to take days off from work, which I could ill afford.
I had a kind lover to help me through. Never have I regretted my decisions.
Later, in my 30s, I was sexually assaulted. Good luck, if the term can apply to anything about rape, is the only reason I didn’t get pregnant.
When people seek control, they say others “need to be held accountable.”
Seeing the world as “them” versus “us” makes it easy to objectify one another. Not so long ago, United States medical officials conducted the infamous 40-year Tuskegee Study. They pretended to treat black people for syphilis when really they were studying the full progression of the disease. To their reasoning, white lives mattered and black lives didn’t. Sound familiar?
What if you’re very young and your family is the opposite of a Hallmark card? What if you’re not employed? Or your job doesn’t provide insurance and sick days? What if the rape was more than you could bear? And you don’t want the added burdens of facing the police, defending your reputation as well as your case, can’t afford a good lawyer, and don’t want to confront whoever assaulted you in court?
Or say you simply got pregnant at any age, and for whatever reason, just don’t want to go through a full pregnancy?
What if, what if, what if?…
It’s no one’s business why or how many times any woman has an abortion.
When statisticians tally how many people consider abortion acceptable, they sidestep the real issue. What matters is no government ought to be entitled to have say over women’s bodies.
No one should have a say over who is sterilized or who must bear children. End of story.
Is it still legal to get an abortion?
The answer in the United States is yes, due in good measure for Planned Parenthood’s work.
The organization offers a range of affordable health care to all genders, all ages, all over the world. Interestingly, in 1970, President Richard Nixon signed into law funding for family planning services, which included Planned Parenthood.
According to Wikipedia, Nixon decreed, “No American woman should be denied access to family planning assistance because of her economic condition.”
Remember, it’s not enough to win rights — we must continually work to keep them. We can’t rest on our laurels.
For example, according to Wikipedia:
“Poland is one of the few countries in the world to largely outlaw abortion after decades of permissive legislation during Polish People’s Republic. About 10-15% of Polish women seek abortion in neighboring countries due to the strict restraints in their own country. Poland’s abortion law is one of the most restrictive in Europe, along with a group of other traditionally Roman Catholic countries of the region.”
What about Pt 2 of my jury duty?
It was a holiday weekend, so we all stayed home that Monday.
Since my car was in the shop, on Tuesday my husband lent me his car. Ten minutes away from home, his “check engine” light blinked on.
Fortunately (a word I don’t use lightly, as explained several headings ago), I had another car I could borrow. My mom lives with us and she was away visiting my brothers who live in different states. Can one take a vacation when one is retired? Regardless, her generosity allowed me to continue jury duty, albeit half an hour tardy that day.
Today’s post was an emotional one and it took a lot out of me so I’ll leave off here and fill you in on the rest of my jury service next time…
In the meantime, since the courthouse was in the Los Angeles Historic District, these photos are of Olvera Street. I walked there during our lunch break. According to Wikipedia, it’s “been the main square of the city since the early 1820s, when California was still part of Mexico, and was the center of community life[ until the town expanded in the 1870s.”
How much control over your body do you want to hand over to your government?
70 thoughts on “My Abortion Story + Jury Service Pt 2”
I agree with you. It is entirely up to a woman to determine her body. Unfortunately, the Church has wreaked havoc here. But things are slowly getting better, in church-dominated areas too.
You don’t seem to be lucky with cars. 😉 How about a shuttle service? 🙂 xx Michael
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good thoughts all around, Michael – shuttle included lol – unfortunately mass transit in Los Angeles is horrendous – bus would’ve taken 2 hours, uber would’ve cost $50…
Reblogged this on NEW OPENED BLOG > https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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thanks much, Michael 🙂
[…] I’m in the middle of continuing writing from here and here (in between working on my novels) about doing jury duty (read of the actual trial in an upcoming […]
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Da’al, I admire your courage in sharing your abortion story and your determined voice in the rights of women to make their own choices.
My grandmother came from a tiny shtetl in Poland to the United States in the early 1900’s. She escaped the violence of Eastern Europe that plagued the Jewish communities and kept them poor and frightened. I’ve never been able to find the details about how she came here other than it was on a ship that docked at Ellis Island. She married young, to another Polish Jewish immigrant, and was pregnant within their first year of marriage. She bore 7 children and suffered two abortions at the hands of what she could afford – a street abortionist. It’s probable that she also had miscarriages. She had many health issues, including a terrible car accident that gravely injured her and killed two other pedestrians. She died when she was about 50. Though she died when I was 26 months old, I remember her as a loving, sweet grandmother who couldn’t wait to hold me in her arms and call me sweet names in Yiddish. She made decisions that allowed her to feed her 7 living children but she loved all of them, even those she could not afford to bear. I will always consider my grandmother to be a woman of courage, faith, and honor.
Thank you for letting me tell her story.
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my thanks to you, dear Sharon, for sharing. a huge virtual hug to you ❤
btw, as hopefully you know, my offer for you to guest blog post here about this or anything else you like is always open
btw, thank goodness for wordpress’s spam button & your reply is all the more of a balm, if you get my drift…
Well, most women who are past 50 or 60 like me, know that life doesn’t always happen as we wish.
People describe in comments everything as a terrible trauma, it might be, and it might be not if we move past it. I don’t know where I’d be if always dwelling on what happened at some point. I’ve has a horrible share of everything, just never attached trauma to that. Back then, up to 2000 and in soviet Latvia, nobody ever mentioned something like that, you just lived on and eventually forgot about that.
It is very much worth to stand up and not allow anybody to control somebody’s life. Women have been there often when all kinds of laws put all kinds of restrictions on them. I remember what happened when abortions were prohibited: women went to illegal nurses or doctors, still got the thing done, but many of them got horrible infections, became disabled and sometimes simply blead out. No shortage of decision makers when it comes to somebody else.
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sadly, very true, Inese. as far as trauma, labeling it, dealing with, etc is very personal as well & we have no right to judge others as well — I try to assume we’re all doing our best…