Guest Blog Post: Caregiving for Men by Dan Zeorlin

News alert! Caregivers are not only women.

Since Kansas blogger Dan Zeorlin (a.k.a. MLBerg) became one, he’s shared what he’s learned by writing, “Care Giver’s Manual for Men.” It is absolutely free, neither emails nor strings attached, as a downloadable pdf file. He’s also looking to start a support group.

He first wrote for Happiness Between Tails here. Read on for six of his insights into caregiving…

Caregiver/blogger, Dan Zeorlin (a.k.a. MLBerg), has an absolutely free manual for you!

Observations of a Life Well-Worn: Reflections from a Caregiver, by Dan Zeorlin

  1. Choices: I love to see young, recently-married couples at church with crying babies. Where else would one expect to find such enthusiastic subjects and empathic, experienced audiences? A beautiful encounter is in becoming a Caregiver for someone that you love – and to grow more fully human in sharing life: joys, struggles, strengths, and acceptance. Great opportunity to meet and know God through awesome presence! Of course, it is assumed that a new parent of the crying baby loves her/him. And through the gradual series of choices, we become seasoned Caregivers. 
  2. Disappointment and Farewell to Regret: Show some resolve – grow backbone where it is needed. Do the research to find out what you want and then go for it! If drawbacks are identified in every proposal, then deliver them in a positive manner. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by creating impossible expectations. In other words, allow yourself space to dream big.
  3. What am I waiting for? Get over it! When will it be over? When will my life be through? I don’t know about you, but I need to request a review As Soon As Possible! This doesn’t mean I want fewer days to breathe, eat, sleep, and etc. but merely that I do not wish to spend my life preoccupied with “me” when there is so much more worth living for. Worse off than some…Better off than most – I do not deserve a charmed life. But isn’t this what I have every time I escape into my comfort zone? I need to be taking chances and reach new levels of shared experience. After all, sharing is caring.
  4. Enabling vs. getting a leg up: How do we become better Caregivers? The opportunities to help run rampant; the desire to leave everything neat and tidy is innate; the willingness to clean while becoming exposed to filth, getting dirty, and experiencing heartache can be devastating. Each of us has certain norms and standards, but none of these are absolute. What’s more, the object of desire often moves, and it changes. So instead of keeping the focus on trying to reach a target’s bulls-eye, sometimes the goal becomes quite unimagined and may take on slight variations or be radically different. Approach unforeseen consequences and not-prepared-for conclusions with confidence.
  5. The point is… When you sign up to love unconditionally (i.e., become a Caregiver), you do not control the rules. Pray for strength to say “Yes” each time something is asked of you; have the courage to say “No” whenever it is in the best interests of life. Try to recognize and respect those times when there is no answer other than to “hang in there.” We can be certain that love is served through Caregiving.
  6. What can I do to help? Look for ideas (try reading this: Caregivers Manual for Men) and get on board.

More about Dan Zeorlin: He is a blogger, a supporter, a follower, and a learner. He believes there’s no need to reinvent the wheel, but sometimes we must build a better mousetrap. His desire for sharing methods to enable persistence in giving care is simply a calling to do the right thing.

Do you know any men who are caregivers?…  

22 thoughts on “Guest Blog Post: Caregiving for Men by Dan Zeorlin

  1. When I was young I was thinking of becoming a nurse, but I am glad I didn’t, I would not have been able to stomach it. I admire people who can and do!
    I only know two caregivers, my sister in law who lives in Oregon and a blogger, you might know him as well “astijake John”. My mother’s parents were both nurses.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “when there is so much more worth living for. Worse off than some…Better off than most” I live by this rule, and it’s something i tell close friends and family members when they’re complaining.
    On a side note, the last follow I clicked for you blog stuck, yay.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Many thanks for your wise words, Jina, as well as your persistence with ‘like’ button – all this week, wordpress has been acting up on when I visit other people’s sites & want to comment & like…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a lovely post and it is great to meet DAn and learn from his experiences. Is building a better mousetrap a well know expression relating to caregiving in the USA? I have just read a book with that title which was also a woman’s journey as a caregiver which is why I ask. I have never heard that expression before.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hello Roberta, “Build a better mousetrap” is an adage intending to show that “Status Quo (Don’t reinvent the wheel)” is not cutting it. I was naive and almost lulled into complacence (How hard could it be?) before being asked to become Linda’s caregiver. My biggest concern is that there are other fellows out there like me and their Caregiving experience (caregiver, carereceiver) won’t have a happy ending. One more idiom: “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it”. Support for Caregiving Men is either broken or it doesn’t exist. I say this not because there aren’t systems of support out there (there are) but because the “common man (myself included)” can not possibly navigate through it to maximize his value to his care receiver. Hope this helps. Dan

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This is an amazing post, so powerful and compassionate. Number 3 gave me chills. Sometimes we can lose perspective, as a carer or not, of what’s important in life and what’s beyond ourselves and the current situation. I don’t know any guys that are carers per se, though I know a few ladies online whose husbands help them out more given their illnesses and disabilities. More awareness around the life of the carer, and these incredible guys out there, is much needed. Great post to share!
    Caz xx

    Liked by 2 people

  6. We tell younger parents with little kids in church not to stress too much about the noises coming from their babies. And we remind those with grown kids that we once shared that moment as a young parent with high energy kids. Nice article! Many challenges. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

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