20 thoughts on “4. Ever been told…?

  1. koolkosherkitchen July 30, 2018 / 1:00 am

    I my self have never been told that, but an older African American teacher shared at one of my seminars that when she was having trouble with math in 1st grade, a kindly teacher said, “Don’t worry, dear, you’re so pretty that you don’t need math in our life; just make sure you find a good husband.” She eventually made sure to become a high school math teacher!

    Liked by 1 person

    • da-AL July 31, 2018 / 1:19 pm

      I love when people use aweful comments to make themselves stronger — great story, Dolly!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. anne leueen July 26, 2018 / 5:02 pm

    I’ve not heard that one but I was always told by my mother :”Little girls should be seen and not heard.” Needless to say I did not pay that any attention!

    Liked by 2 people

    • da-AL July 29, 2018 / 1:48 pm

      thank goodness for all of us, Anne — we’re lucky when those who seek to hold us back only make us more resolute 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Stella, oh, Stella July 26, 2018 / 3:54 pm

    No, never, that wasn’t a thing that would be said or even thought in my family. I met those attitudes first when I started to work, and then I laughed at them. I was never really cute, playing my feminine attributes or so that wasn’t me. Still I never had a lack of admirers. 😉

    I never liked this differentiating between women and men. I always thought that every person has the right in its own way, to live the way he or she wants, as long as it didn’t hurt others, but let’s do away with this drawer thinking. Some women want to be housewives and mothers, some want professional careers, let them do as they choose without looking down on each other.

    Liked by 2 people

    • da-AL July 29, 2018 / 1:44 pm

      again, you’ve found a gorgeous way to put it, Lloyd ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Barbara Grace Lake July 26, 2018 / 1:26 pm

    Yes. And I thank my stars for having had a mother who was herself very intelligent and did not believe the stereotypes. She did not encourage me EVER to behave like a “cute little girl.” Being of an age where the stereotypes existed, I did not have a large group of girlfriends, but usually had one or two high-achieving friends who felt the same way I did. Did I miss the giggle clusters? No. And I abhor hearing women giggle to this day.

    Liked by 3 people

    • da-AL July 29, 2018 / 1:43 pm

      you are fortunate for having learned well, Barbara — & you’re generous for inspiring us ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Grace July 26, 2018 / 12:04 pm

    Well there is the old ‘dumb blonde” thing, and the old ‘blonds have more fun’ thing. I’ve never been cute or blonde but I’ve always been smart and had fun. Then again a girl friend, a blond, once said to me “Men look at blondes first but look at brunettes longer”.

    Liked by 5 people

    • da-AL July 29, 2018 / 1:42 pm

      it feels good when the generalization flatters me, but in the end, generalizations are generally best not made 🙂


  6. Sharon Bonin-Pratt July 26, 2018 / 11:57 am

    Ugh, what a terrible thing to say.

    I’ve been told, “You’re smarter than you seem.”
    And used to have a button that said: I’m not as dumb as you look.”

    Liked by 6 people

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